Make jokes

Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time, so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.

Kobe: Take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.

How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex?

Call and tell her about it.

It's always the little things that make us laugh.

God needed an extra two hands to make your fat ass of a mother.

If you were a room in my house, I’d make you the basement.

So I could put kids inside you.

My reverse psychologist told me I didn't have it in me to make a recovery.

Why couldn’t the guy make bubbles?

He couldn’t find the right solution.

Try to make a joke, but not about yourself.

Well, I have nothing.

Doctor, what is wrong with me?

You will never be able to walk again. It ain't like with me on the field it would make the Miami Dolphins any better.

The fact I couldn't hear the announcements at my school because the boys in my advisory are clapping with no hands should be a joke just in itself. They were making sexual faces as well, oh, and don't forget the moaning they do.

Why don't Indians play baseball?

Every time they reach a corner, they make a shop.

It's not nice to make 9/11 jokes. My uncle died in 9/11...

He was one of al qaeda's best pilots.

Me: "Cya"

Mom: "Where ya going?"

Me: "The orphanage to make yo mama jokes."

Mum: ...

Your sister is so stupid, she only thinks an onion will make people cry.

So I threw a coconut at her.

How do you make an emo mad at you?

Cut the rope.

You know they say, when you get lemons make lemonade... Well, I took that a little bit too literal.

Turns out squeezing your wife's tits as hard as you can hurts them.

But at least lemonade came out!

Stop making 9/11 jokes, guys! My uncle died in that event. He was the best Arabian pilot in the world!

What do you call an artist who couldn't make it as Hitler?

Your hairline was so fat that Joe Biden could not make it prime minister.

How do you make a body disappear?

You use an axe, black plastic bags, a forest, a shovel, and some ice cream because killing someone and chopping them up and digging holes in the ground and putting dirt over them is a lot of hard work!

P.S., I'm joking and don't condone these actions.