Make jokes
What type of bee can't make up his mind?
A maybe.
I constantly wonder how people can live happily ever after, but then I realized that antidepressants don't make you OD.
It's not nice to make 9/11 jokes. My uncle died in 9/11...
He was one of al qaeda's best pilots.
You know they say, when you get lemons make lemonade... Well, I took that a little bit too literal.
Turns out squeezing your wife's tits as hard as you can hurts them.
But at least lemonade came out!
What do you call an artist who couldn't make it as Hitler?
Memes
Me: "Cya"
Mom: "Where ya going?"
Me: "The orphanage to make yo mama jokes."
Mum: ...
Stop making 9/11 jokes, guys! My uncle died in that event. He was the best Arabian pilot in the world!
Your hairline was so fat that Joe Biden could not make it prime minister.
Your sister is so stupid, she only thinks an onion will make people cry.
So I threw a coconut at her.
How do you make an emo mad at you?
Cut the rope.
What makes jokes because it's lonely and a complete and utter loser?
This guy, yep, this guy right here.
You must be a Charmander. Because you’re making me hot.
Pokemon.
I hate long plants. They make me Ivysaur. Hahahahahahaha Pokemon!
I'm making a website for orphans. [I] won't add the home page.
I'd make a joke about epilepsy, but the computer started flashing.
How do you make a body disappear?
You use an axe, black plastic bags, a forest, a shovel, and some ice cream because killing someone and chopping them up and digging holes in the ground and putting dirt over them is a lot of hard work!
P.S., I'm joking and don't condone these actions.
What makes laissez-faire and a gangbang the same?
Not my problem.
Me: Mom, can I have some makeup?
Mom: No. You are beautiful just the way you are.
Me: So that’s why you wear makeup?
A guy walks into a restaurant and orders turtle soup. The waiter hollers, "One turtle soup!"
A moment later, the guy calls the waiter over and says, "I’ve changed my mind, I would like pea soup." The waiter hollers, "Hold the turtle, and make it pea!"
Quoting the great Jimmy Carr: "When I cook, I make sure there are vegetarian options. They can make do, or they can fuck off."