Make jokes
How does a prostitute make more than a drug dealer?
Because she can clean her crack and sell it again.
While an unsuspecting father's at the office making money, this 18 year old son will spend his day in mother's cunny.
We're at the breakfast table, father eats and takes his calls, he doesn't know my mother's toes are kneading at my balls.
Why do orphans play Sims?
Because they can make themselves a family.
What makes sad people jump? A bridge.
Google is a woman because it doesn’t let you finish a sentence before it makes suggestions.
Enough with the Nazi jokes.
They make me führeious!
There was a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette. They were all trapped on an island, and the nearest shore was 50 miles away.
The redhead swam, trying to make it to the other shore. She swam 15 miles, drowned, and died.
The brunette swam 24 miles, drowned, and died.
The blonde swam 25 miles, got tired, and swam back.
Is Google a girl or a boy?
Obviously a girl, because it won't let you finish a sentence without making a suggestion.
Cousins make dozens.
Head teacher talking about recent vandalism during school assembly:
"And to those of you who wrote Mr. Smith's telephone number on the door of the girl's toilets, he would like to make it clear that the last digit is a 7 and not a 4."
I only believe in 12.5% of everything the Bible says.
Which makes me an eighth-theist.
A boss said to his secretary, "I want to have sex with you, but I will make it very fast."
"I'll throw $1,000 on the floor and by the time you bend down to pick it up, I'll be done."
She thought for a moment then called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend said, "Do it but ask him for $2,000. Then pick up the money so fast, he won't even have enough time to undress himself." She agrees.
After half an hour passes, the boyfriend calls the girlfriend and asks, "So what happened?" She responds, "The... bastard.....used.....coins."
Daughter: Mommy?
Mom: Hey.
Daughter: What kind of kids do they use to make Sour Patch Kids?
Mom: They don’t use kids to make Sour Patch Kids.
Daughter: Oh, that’s why the ones I made taste kind of funny...
Doctor: What makes you feel depressed?
Me: Seeing others happy.
Doctor: Ok, so what makes you happy?
Me: Seeing stupid people in misery or agony.
Doctor: Well, that's rather sadistic.
Me: Well, statistically one in two doctors have fingered a child...
Doctor: Do you want your prescription or shall I book you an endoscopy?
Me: There's nothing hidden inside me, I'm empty "smug face".
Having an abortion will make you so tired... it literally sucks the life out of you.
Lol making jokes about cancer makes me feel better as a person that had cancer, it’s great!
Why couldn’t the dwarf husband make his wife pregnant?
Because of his short cummings.
My girlfriend said onions were the only foods that make you cry.
Until I threw a watermelon in her face.
What do Nike and the KKK have in common?
They both make Black people run faster.
What do sex and food have in common?
My sister makes it better than my cousin.