Make Jokes

A boss said to his secretary, "I want to have sex with you, but I will make it very fast.

I'll throw $1,000 on the floor and by the time you bend down to pick it up, I'll be done."

She thought for a moment then called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend said, "Do it but ask him for $2,000. Then pick up the money so fast, he won't even have enough time to undress himself." She agrees.

After half an hour passes, the boyfriend calls the girlfriend and asks, "So what happened?" She responds, "The ...bastard.....used .....coins"

Roses are red Violets are blue We're gonna make love Because I'm stronger than you

Why do people keep on making jokes about the twin towers? Because they go down so well

I would make a Paul Walker joke, but it would crash and burn.

There was the person who sent ten different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

one day I came to my mom and said "MOM!!! I can make a butterfly!"

mom: "no you can't.."

me: *throws butter out the window* me: "look I made a butterfly!"

lol this isn't funny but I hope you liked it

I've just started a new business making people breathe in large amounts of helium. They all speak very highly of it.

if mistakes make people human than your parents must have been alligators before you were born

Sleep, but make it forever

What makes sad people jump? a bridge

Why are Egyptian gods orphans Because Egypt needs to sell Anubis (a-new-bus) every year to make a prophet

Enough with the Nazi jokes They make me führeious

Hey God what are you making?

Just a wooden stick that lights on fire

sounds like a match made in heaven

It’s the World Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right next to the pitch. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there. ‘No,’ says the neighbor. ‘The seat is empty.’ ‘This is incredible,’ said the man. ‘Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Final and not use it?’ The neighbor says, ‘Well actually the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first World Cup Final we haven’t been to together since we got married.’ ‘Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. That’s terrible....But couldn’t you find someone else, a friend, relative or even a neighbor to take her seat?’ The man shakes his head. ‘No,’ he says. ‘They’re all at the funeral.’

Why didn't the koala make the finals?. It got diskoalafide

For boys Life is a lot like a penis simple, soft, straight, relaxed and hanging freely......... then a woman makes it really hard😩😉😏

I told someone some jokes y'know fruit ninja, barcode legs, french puppet thigh wrings. And she was like saying thats not cool and stuff. So she reported me and it was like. The counselor: So i've heard you've been making sh jokes? Me: You say it like it's a bad thing Her: It is Me: chill bro it aint that deep. Don't worry I'll end it :)