Make jokes

Google is a woman because it doesn’t let you finish a sentence before it makes suggestions.

There was a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette. They were all trapped on an island, and the nearest shore was 50 miles away.

The redhead swam, trying to make it to the other shore. She swam 15 miles, drowned, and died.

The brunette swam 24 miles, drowned, and died.

The blonde swam 25 miles, got tired, and swam back.

What happens when you make an asían girl squirt?

She charges you 10 cents for extra sauce.

Why couldn’t the dwarf husband make his wife pregnant?

Because of his short cummings.

Where do you learn to make ice cream? -- Sundae school.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. We're gonna make love because I'm stronger than you.

If mistakes make people human, then your parents must have been alligators before you were born.

A boss said to his secretary, "I want to have sex with you, but I will make it very fast."

"I'll throw $1,000 on the floor and by the time you bend down to pick it up, I'll be done."

She thought for a moment then called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend said, "Do it but ask him for $2,000. Then pick up the money so fast, he won't even have enough time to undress himself." She agrees.

After half an hour passes, the boyfriend calls the girlfriend and asks, "So what happened?" She responds, "The... bastard.....used.....coins."

Why do people keep on making jokes about the twin towers?

Because they go down so well.

Russian Santa Claus- You better watch out, You better not cry, cause if you do I will stab your fucking eye, Russian Santa Claus does not fuck around. He's making a list, He's checking it twice... You better leave out some Vodka with ice!

I would make a Paul Walker joke, but it would crash and burn.

There was a person who sent ten different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

I've just started a new business making people breathe in large amounts of helium. They all speak very highly of it.

How do you make an emo jump?

A cliff.

What makes sad people jump? A bridge.

Enough with the Nazi jokes.

They make me führeious!

Why are Egyptian gods orphans?

Because Egypt needs to sell Anubis (a new bus) every year to make a prophet.

Sleep, but make it forever.

My friends were worried that I was making suicide jokes so much, so I said, "Don't worry, you won't have to hear them much longer."

Hey God, what are you making?

Just a wooden stick that lights on fire.

Sounds like a match made in heaven.