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Yo mama

  • The Yo Mama song to end all yo mama jokes.

    If you know what song this is parodying, you get a cookie.

    Well, it’s a oooh, yo mama.

    Ohhh, Yo Mama.

    oh wop oh wop...YO MAMA!

    Yo mama so fat, she gotta bathe in Sea World.

    Well, it’s a oooh, yo mama.

    Ohhhh, YO MAMA!

    Oh woo ohhh, YO MAMA!

    Yo mama so slow she took 9 months to get the joke.

    Your own motheeer makes me giggle.

    Her struggling to do taaaasks, see her belly wiggle.

    HEY!

    Yo mama so fat she on both sides o’the family.

    Yo mama so inbred her own fam’ly tree

    Looks like a spider web an’ yo mama so hairy

    I thought it was King Kong I saw, that bitch is scary.

    Yo mama so dumb a kid said “gimme a fag”

    And in response she kidnapped Ricardo in a giant bag.

    Yo mama so blind, she drove through puppies in a blunder

    I swear I almost thought the driver was Stevie Wonder.

    Yo mama so old, she’s nostalgic for the big bang.

    Drier than Sahara, that crusty old thang.

    Well, it’s a oooh, yo mama.

    Ohhh, Yo Mama.

    oh wop oh wop...YO MAMA!

    Yo Mama so fat her picture still printing out.

    Well, it’s a oooh, yo mama.

    Ohhhh, YO MAMA!

    Oh woo ohhh, YO MAMA!

    Yo mama so ugly I thought you had two dads.

    MMMMMMM

    ahhhhhh

    ohhhohoh

    Your own motheeer, your own motheeeeer’s pussy is tight.

    It’s not too dryyy or weeet it’s just right.

    Hey Mama!

    I fucked her so hard, the bitch done passed out

    but not before I creamed all over her and shout

    “I’M FUCKING THESE MOMS ALL THE WAY TO HEAVEN!

    Don’t care if she’s 20 or 77!

    I’m doing all the moms all over the worl’

    Even if they weren’t ‘riginally born a girl.

    A pussy’s a pussy no matter who its from

    Don’t care if that woman is smart or dumb!”

    That’s the truth there, baby! Even if

    yo mama too stupid to tell apart her own kid

    or if she’s so fugly, she’s the reason why

    Helen Keller, poor soul, went deaf and blind.

    I want to fuck every MILF on Earth

    it don’t matter how much her ass is worth

    or if she’s so poor, coal on Christmas is a treasure

    Would I fuck her anyway? It would be my pleasure.

    My body count so high can’t nobody top me

    She said, “I’ll call you Freddie Mercury cause I want you to rock me.”

    I said, “aiight bet! Can’t nobody stop me!”

    Well, it’s a oooh, yo mama.

    Ohhh, Yo Mama.

    oh wop oh wop...YO MAMA!

    But yo mama still so poor Africans donate to her!

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  • Plumber

  • I have a better version of this joke.

    How to make a plumber cry: Simple, kill his family. That’ll definitely turn on the waterworks.

    Baby

  • How do you make a baby survive a fall of over 300 metres?

    I don't know. I've dropped dozens off the Empire State Building and none have lived.

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  • Daughter

  • My Countryhumans OC, Sahara, is the daughter of France and Soviet. When people ask why, I tell them it was the gendersnapped version of my parents making me. France (my dad) was drunk and Soviet (my mom) was being horny. Then they judge me, so I judge them with a knife to the chest 47 times.

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  • Sh

  • Someone: Stop making jokes about sh!

    Me: Oh, sorry man, I'll cut it out, I'll cut it out deep!

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  • Man

  • Two men are next to each other. One looks at the other and asks, "Are you a fascist?"

    The other man responds, "No, why would I be?"

    The first man pulls out a gun and says, "Are you sure?"

    The second man says, "Never mind, I am a fascist!"

    Bee

  • Bee Jokes:

    "Hello."

    "Oh, hello, Buzzy!"

    "Why are ya calling me Buzzy this whole time?"

    "Because you BEE BUZZing!" (Laughs)

    "It's not funny! Jokes are the worst, although I hate those Bee Jokes!"

    "Chillax bro. Don't BEE a hater of jokes, dude!" (Laughs)

    "Aagh! You always had a choice, but I will sting ya face!"

    "No! You BEE like pollen to make HONEY-moon." (Laughs)

    "Stoooop!! I'm outta here, your worst fan."

    "Fan?"

    "Yes, your worst fan!"

    "No! Fan!"

    "What?! Aaaaaauuuuggghhhh!!!"

    "Ohhh! Buzzy's looking BEE-wind!" (Laughs)

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  • Racist

  • I am a racist, and I put my milk before cereal. Well, to be honest, that was when I had milk, but one day my dad says he was going to get some... then he left.

    Now when I see a black guy, I yell, "Thanks for picking the cotton to make my shirt!"

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  • Woman

  • There is only one reason why I find women useful.

    That is because they make sandwiches, but that is about it.