Make jokes
Three nuns died in a car crash. They went up to heaven at the pearly gates. The gatekeeper said, "This really should not have happened, so I am going to send you back to earth as different people. Tell me who you want to be or look like." The first nun said, "I want to look like Madonna." Puff, you look like her now, but you can’t use her name. And sent her down to earth. The second one said, "I want to look like Marilyn Monroe." He then makes her look like her and sends her down to earth. The third nun said, "I want to look like Sarah Pipalini." The gatekeeper says to her, "Sarah Pipalini, who is that?" She gives the gatekeeper a newspaper article. He reads it, shakes his head no, and says, "It’s not Sarah Pipalini, it's Sahara pipeline laid by 500 men."
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9.
Why did all the numbers laugh at 22? Because it had "tu tu's."
How can you make a orphans hand bleed?
Real them to clap until there parent come home.
I was fucking this girl, and I started to make her cry.
She mumbled things and squirmed, but I couldn't hear her through the gag I put in her mouth.
There was a person who sent ten different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
My diet:
Make all of my friends cupcakes. The fatter they get, the thinner I look...
When I become a parent, I’m gonna regurgitate my food to feed my children.
It’ll give me an excuse to make out with my daughter.
What do you say when you see a pig making bread?
He's bacon.
I told you ten puns to make you laugh, and I do not pun in-ten-did.
When a family friend passed away, my granddaughter took her three-year-old son to visit the widow. As they approached the front door, she whispered to the boy, “Make sure to tell her how sorry you are.”
He whispered back, “Why? I didn’t kill him.”
My wife wanted to make a joke about domestic abuse, but I beat her to it.
What did the knight say to his younger brother? "Good night."
You expected a silly pun there, didn't you? That's pretty rude. It makes light of the struggles of being a knight. Especially a good knight.
Try to make a joke, but not about yourself.
Well, I have nothing.
Hillary Clinton would make a good president.
How do make an adult cry?
Stab him 10000 times until the floors are red with human blood.
What makes a software developer feel rich?
Their cache.
Why don't vegetarians moan during sex?
Because they don't want to admit that meat makes them happy.
I congratulated my friend on losing all that baby weight. She started crying and told me I should make them for miscarriage like that......
Once, there was a brother and a sister that shared a YouTube channel. He named it "Penis Dick Marathon."