If you are going to make fun of someone, make fun of orphans. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
Double whammy.
Dark humor is like a kid with cancer, it never gets old.
Make Jokes
What type of bee makes milk?
A boobee.
Someone was crushing a bag of chips. I said, "Are you making edibles?"
How do you make antifreeze?
You steal her blanket.
Hey! Some idiot drew a cat on this pillar! Wait... does that make it a caterpillar?
Why is it so hard to make a party on Earth?
Because you need to planet.
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson were out on a hike. They had been going all day, so they decided to make camp and stay for the night. They both woke up at 3 A.M.
Holmes said, "Look up, Watson, what can you see?"
"Judging from the position of the stars, it looks like it's about 3 A.M."
"What else, Watson?"
"It looks like it will be a beautiful day tomorrow."
"What Else, Watson?"
"What am I supposed to see, Holmes?"
"Elementary my dear Watson, someone stole our tent!"
What’s pink, nine inches, and makes my wife cry when I shove it down her throat?
Her Miscarriage.
God creating bees.
God: "Put a needle on their butt."
Angel: "Come on, God, wha-"
God: "Make its puke delicious."
Angel: "WTF"
God creating spiders.
God: "Make it have 8 legs." Angel: "Ok? Bit excessive but ok." God: "And 8 eyes." Angel: "You need to calm down and li-" God: "Give it a butt rope!"
I heard every single machine in the coin factory just broke down all of a sudden.
It just doesn’t make any cents!
I wanted to make a belt out of watches, then I realized it was a waste of time!
What is so similar about a concrete block and a garden?
They both make vegetables.
I was going to make a chemistry joke. But it looks like I won’t get a reaction :)
I saw Simba walking slowly.
I told him "Mufasa!"
They are making a movie about clocks.
It’s about time.
If Stephen Hawking was in a horror movie, would he make his robot try and shout, "Aaaaaaaah! Help me, I can't move! I'm too scared!"?
What makes a joke a dad joke?
I don't know. I don't even have one as an example.
Do not trust atoms! They make up everything.
What's the best part about plowing your cousin?
- It makes your sister jealous.
