My diet:
Make all of my friends cupcakes. The fatter they get, the thinner I look...
Make Jokes
When I become a parent, I’m gonna regurgitate my food to feed my children.
It’ll give me an excuse to make out with my daughter.
What do you say when you see a pig making bread?
He's bacon.
I told you ten puns to make you laugh, and I do not pun in-ten-did.
When a family friend passed away, my granddaughter took her three-year-old son to visit the widow. As they approached the front door, she whispered to the boy, “Make sure to tell her how sorry you are.”
He whispered back, “Why? I didn’t kill him.”
My wife wanted to make a joke about domestic abuse, but I beat her to it.
What did the knight say to his younger brother? "Good night."
You expected a silly pun there, didn't you? That's pretty rude. It makes light of the struggles of being a knight. Especially a good knight.
Try to make a joke, but not about yourself.
Well, I have nothing.
Hillary Clinton would make a good president.
How do make an adult cry?
Stab him 10000 times until the floors are red with human blood.
What makes a software developer feel rich?
Their cache.
Why don't vegetarians moan during sex?
Because they don't want to admit that meat makes them happy.
I congratulated my friend on losing all that baby weight. She started crying and told me I should make them for miscarriage like that......
Once, there was a brother and a sister that shared a YouTube channel. He named it "Penis Dick Marathon."
Why couldn’t the guy make bubbles?
He couldn’t find the right solution.
I am not that good at making ice jokes, but it will suffice.
Francis Pope, Donald Trump, Barack Obama, and a little boy were on a falling airplane. There were 3 parachutes. Donald Trump grabs the first parachute and jumps off the plane saying, “The world needs my leadership!” Barack Obama grabs a parachute and says, “I need to help make choices for our world,” so he jumps off the plane. At this point, the Pope and the little boy are on the plane. The Pope says to the boy, “take the last parachute, I am too old and I’m going to die soon one day.” The little boy says, “actually there are two, you see, Donald Trump took my backpack.”
I am about to make a joke about cake. You butter believe it.
How do you make a pink Smurf?
You peel the skin off.
Today, my mother was making breakfast. As she was tired, my brother asked if there was anything to do today.
She responded with a list:
- Take out the trash.
- Clean your room.
- Make lunch and be sure to butter the electrical sockets.
That’s all sweetie!
