Made jokes
I used to have a phobia of pogo sticks. Those things always made me jump.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, God made me pretty, WHAT THE FRICK HAPPENED TO YOU?
Two to the one from the one to the three, I like good pussy and I like good trees, Smoke so much weed you wouldn't believe, And I get more ass than a toilet seat.
Three to the one from the one to the three, I met a bad bitch last night in the D, Let me tell you how I made her leave with me, Conversation and Hennessey.
I've been to the motherfuckin' mountain top, Heard motherfuckers talk, seen and dropped, If I ain't got a weapon I'ma pick up a rock, And when I bust yo ass I'ma continue to rock.
Getcha ass of the wall with your two left feet, It's real easy just follow the beat, Don't let that fine girl pass you by, Look real close 'cause strobe lights blind.
My friend made this joke (so I’m going steal it). I’m surrounded by fat people, oh wait... it’s just one.
what kind of shoes are made of banana peels? slippers.
Son: Mom, can I tell you something?
Mom: Yes, of course, honey, what's up?
Son: Ok, you have terrible jokes! They're not even funny!
Mom: Well, I made you.
This morning, I was in the kitchen, and I saw a whole bunch of leftover brownies made from scratch. I just tasted one and spit it out because somebody put some goddamn weed in them, what the fuck!
Why can't I have any chocolate ice cream for dessert? Because I made it disappear up your ass for good.
Doctor: Hands husband his baby.
Doctor: I'm sorry but your wife didn't make it.
Husband: Then give me the one she made.
My friend has a shovel made of gold. I guess you could call him a gold digger.
Why are the jokes fat? Because you made it.
Son: Mom, can I borrow $50?
Mom: What? NO WAY! Do you think money grows on trees?
Son: Mom, what is money made of?
Mom: Paper.
Son: Where does paper come from?
Mom: . . .
I tried to dress hot so my boyfriend would cast some attention upon me, but it just made him sweat.
Your sister is so ugly, she made Hello Kitty say goodbye.
What type of cake can orphans not have?
Homemade.
I have a cow over at my house spending the night with me because she has been out in the streets homeless and poor, so my family forced it to come and live with me at my place.
The cow asks me, "Where do I keep all the dairy items like the milk, cheese, yogurt, and meat?" I tell her, "In the refrigerator! Where do you think I keep them, on the farm with all the rest of those cows?"
That night we had to share a room and sleep in the same damn bed. Then she started getting high and drank some cow wine with titty milk, and it made her shit all over the bed.
Why did Kristen Stewart fart on the set of Charlie's Angels? Because she ate too much damn chili for breakfast I made for her. I just forgot to put my foot in it.
How did Peter Cottontail get his swing on? He made love to Alice in Wonderland.
One morning, Peppy and George came downstairs for breakfast, but they got a plate of juicy bacon. Their dad had recently gone missing, so they ate it quite sadly.
The next morning, they went to school and asked their teacher, "What is bacon made out of?" The teacher replied, "Pigs, why?" Peppa and George looked horrified.
Why didn't the cows eat the lemon grass?
It made sour milk.