Ive been sad recently the twin towers arnt round so i made the conclusion of a time machine to watch it again
I am the ice cream man running over fat kids with my van if you touch my van Iβll smack you in the face with a frying pan if you steal ice cream Iβll shoot you in the face with a fudge machine
A young peasant coming from the field with his scythe on his shoulder notices an attractive young woman that was doing the laundry in a mountain stream, perched on some rocks near a waterfall. The guy stops and leans against his scythe, fascinated by the young girl's beauty. After minutes of watching her, she loses her balance, slips on a rock and falls all the way down, crushing her head on the white rocks. Thoughtful, he puts his scythe back on his shoulder and walks away, saying to himself "Damn, another washing machine destroyed by limestone!".
Men built civilisations Men went to the moon Men invented the modern comforts of todayβs society
Women did none of those They are useless, only fit to be baby making machines
A pregnant wife and her husband were in a hospital as she was in labour, the doctor suggested using a machine that transfers the birth pains from the mother to the father, they agree so the machine is used, 40%, the husband feels nothing, 70% still not felling anything, 100%, nothing. The doctor says it must be broken. When the pair return home, the milkman is dead in the front yard.
during the great war:
*a man holding a machine gun shoots down a swarm of soldiers running on a swamp.* He says:"You came to the wrong swamp, Americans! You came to the wrong swamp!" *he didn't stop firing*
have you ever heard of a dream that that that that the universe was a fake machine?
What has ten children crying, naked and screaming for their parents
My big green pedo machine
Little boy: Momma Mom: Yes my dear Little boy: One day I wanna work in McDonald's Mom: Why!? Little boy: Just to see if there ice cream machine is actually broken
Dogs can't operate MRI machines.
But catscan
run on a sandpaper floor-treadmill hybrid in a medium sized room for 24 hours it will be fun
Roses are red Obama is well spoken im sorry sir but the ice cream machine is broken
the twin towers were like a woman stuck in the washer machine they both got freed
TRUE STORY!
X-Ray Tech: I broke my arm and went to the hospital. The X-Ray Tech was the hottest blonde I've ever seen. I threw her ass down on the X-Ray table, ripped her clothes off, ripped off mine and I jumped on top of her! Then I put the X-ray machine on top of us, turned it on and I looked up on the X-ray monitor and I watched and saw my sperm swimming up inside her!
me and my suicidal friend are close, so i took him to the mall to treat him. we bought snacks, a new controller for his xbox and a led lights for him room to hopefully brighten his mood. after we scanned the last item, the machine beeped by itself.
Wot do u call dwarf the fell in to a cement mixer
A wee hard man
I invented a time traveling machine and travelled back to Pangea. I warned the dinosaurs about the deadly asteroid, they told me, "it wasn't an asteroid...it was Pionel Pessi's penalty ball ricocheted from Mars that made them extinct". Tears ran down my face. Shame on you Pessi!
I put a Dalmatian in a washing machine and killed him
What is big black and hairy it's a gorilla with a machine gun.
guy: Are you a vending machine? because your a snack. girl: Your card got declined. guy: Thats ok you got to bang them a few times to get you moneys worth.
