A woman goes into labor with her child. The doctor says that they have invented a new device to transfer the pain of childbirth to the father. He asks if it is okay to use the new device. The couple agrees, and so he turns the pain to the father to 10%. The man feels nothing. They then bump it up to 20%. He still feels nothing. They keep doing this until they have the machine up to 100%. The man still felt nothing so they go home happy, until they find the milkman dead on the porch.
Roses are red, violets are blue, this poem doesn’t make sense, washing machine.
How do you turn get a straight guy into you a gay guy well.... For starts you grab that ass of his drag him into the bathroom and tell him to suck my long big pineapple and thus you have yourself one straight guy converted into dick suckin machine
What is the difference between a washing machine and a hooker? I can put a load in the washing machine without it following me.
I heard every single machine in the coin factory just broke down all of a sudden, It just doesn’t make any cents!
I tried to take a fog machine, but I took the wrong one. Needless to say, it was a big mist-take.
I saw stephen king using an atm it is nice to see he had found someone before he shut down
I ate a time-machine once, it was very time consuming. Especially when I went back four seconds.
What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer!
What weighs 5 oz and is very dangerous.
A sparrow with a machine gun, of course!
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and the computer he's hooked up to? The computer runs.
What did Captain Picard say when he brought his sewing machine to the repairman? -- "Make it sew."
Two windmills are standing in a field and one asks the other, "What kind of music do you like?" The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."
