Lot Jokes

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So I was at a class at school, and then boom explosion. lots of dead. I shoot at the peope too haha, goodbye class. Scary

The radio is a player-it always gets turned on by lots of different people.

What's the difference between a square peg in a round hole and a kilo of lard? One's a good lot of fat the other's a fat lot of good

What it's a lot Syphilis

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I got a text from Kb she said: Really Gwen said that! Will fine Idc! "Hurt" Thanks a lot Gwen!

Did you hear about the volcano that was accepted into Cambridge? It was a decision on the number of degrees it holds, which is a lot, because volcanoes have lava, if they're active. And ours was.

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“I’m going through a lot of things right now,” I said frustratedly to the person on the line as I crashed straight through the next building in my car.

Do people live on the earth 🌏? Yes a lot of people live on the earth 🌎

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Digga D, I'm a well known bandit, bandit Had a new mash, just landed Jheez, cop it, chop it, sand it, hand it The verbal ting I can't stand it Wife and two, got tanned when I banged it Mad ting Got a conspiracy case in the silliest Place, they're saying that I planned it, damn it Back on a Feltham landing You ain't been in the hood like Robin I ride in hoods tryna leave man red (Crud) The sweets are goldy, yola drops and lots of dred (Maud) No porkies, pepper them pigeons, they chase this ped Gyal tryna give man noddy, She ain't got balls in her tongue thats dead

FaceBook Story: My mom loves FaceBook she literally posts everyday but this day was sort kind of a hard hit. so what happened was my mom got tired of her old name on facebook, so she changed it to Thatmilf85 and i dont want to explain what milf means but she got a lot of DM ́s from a lot of old guys. BUT, This one exact guy names Johnny Sins asked my mom if she wanted to do a adult film. idk what that is i think its a adult movie of course so she says yes and flys out to San Diego And she never came back after yesterday. and to YOU Johnny Sins my mom better be Ok and that adult film better be a adult movie and not a Por...

A Catholic Priest and a Rabbi were chatting one day when the conversation turned to a discussion of job descriptions and promotion "What do you have to look forward to in way of a promotion in your job?" asked the Rabbi.

"Well, I'm next in line for the Monsignor's job." replied the Priest.

"Yes, and then what?" asked the Rabbi.

"Well, next I can become Bishop." said the Priest.

"Yes, and then?" asked the Rabbi.

"If I work real hard and do a good job as Bishop, it's possible for me to become an Archbishop." said the Priest.

"O.K., then what?" asked the Rabbi.

The Priest, beginning to get a bit exasperated replied, "With some luck and real hard work, maybe I can become a Cardinal."

"And then?" asked the Rabbi.

The Priest is really starting to get mad now and replies, "With lots and lots of luck and some real difficult work and if I'm in the right places at the right times and play my political games just right, maybe, just maybe, I can get elected Pope."

"Yes, and then what?" asked the Rabbi.

"Good grief!" shouted the Priest. "What do you expect me to become, GOD?"

"Well," said the Rabbi, "One of our boys made it!"