Lost jokes
A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an expedition to the Amazon Forest. After a while, they get lost. As they are walking, suddenly the bushes jump up into the air and men with spears are there. One man says, "Hey, you're in our sacred land. So what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren't that crazy, so we will let you choose how you die."
The man from France said, "Bring me the poison."
The man from Britain said, "Bring me the gun."
And the man from New York said, "Bring me a fork."
The guy was confused with the fork but still brought the items and gave them to them.
The guy from France said, "For France!" And drank the poison and died.
The man from Britain said, "Long live the queen!" And shot himself and died.
And the man from New York started stabbing himself with the fork and said, "Make a canoe out of this, you fuckers!"
I don't like it when people make jokes about 9/11, because we lost 19 great patriots that day.
Q: Why couldn’t Poe Dameron find his sandwich?
A: Because BB-8 it.
Ya it's bad:)
Why does my cheating ex-wife wear a colostomy bag?
She lost her ass playing poker...
A 14 year old girl was walking back home late at night, then a man was following her. An hour later, she got back home not only had she lost the stranger, but also her virginity.
Lost my virginity to a down syndrome the other day... only cause I wanted my first time to be special.
Where did Suzy go after getting lost on a minefield?
"Everywhere."
The Columbine High School basketball team hasn't been the same since they lost their two best shooters.
Why did the family move away?
Because they lost their son.
The other day I lost all my crayons.
I just wish I had a shoulder to cray on.
A man lost his left arm.
He's all right now.
How did Steven Hawking die?
He lost internet connection.
Two atom soldiers are fighting against an army. One gets shot. He cried out, "I'm hit! I think I've lost an electron!"
"Are you sure?" asks the other.
"I'm positive!"
Looks like I lost an electron, I should keep a better ion them.
A man lost his toe when he dropped a knife on it.
Doctor: "I have good news and bad news."
Guy: "What's the bad news?"
Doc: "They replaced your toe with a piece of candy."
Guy: "Good news?"
Doc: "You now have tic tac toe."
Why can't Americans trade with other countries? We lost the trading center!
Why did Steven Hawking die?
He lost Wi-Fi connection and didn't get the data plan.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He lost a water gun fight.
A girl named Rebecca was friends with a guy called Fi. One day, Fi hit Rebecca, and Rebecca lost service.
Rebecca said to Fi, "Why-Fi?"
Normal Europe: Oh no, I lost my iPhone!
Amish: Oh no, I lost my potato!