Loss jokes
What is the difference between an iPhone and an orphan?
An iPhone has a button to go home.
What's a word that starts with "m" and ends in "airage" and all men like it?
Miscarriage. The joke never gets old just like the baby.
I was at a funeral for some kids in a school shooting. I don’t understand why everyone was so sad, so I asked a lady, "what’s so sad?" and she said, "What do you think was running through these kid’s head before they died?" I replied, "probably a bullet." She gasped and said, "do you have any idea how insensitive that is? What do you think is running through their parent’s heads?" I said "probably all the money they're losing from this funeral."
My girlfriend's dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. It just made her more upset. She screamed at me and said, "What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?"
Why did the orphan like milk?
Because their parents went to get milk and never came back!
Why can't the orphan play baseball?
Because it doesn't know where home is... *sniff*
Why do orphans use water for cereal? Cause their dad never came back with the milk.
What's the difference between a Lambo and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a Lambo in my garage.
On 9/11, the New Yorks lost to the Jets.
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
A family photo.
You see a kid on the side of the street crying, so you go up to them and say, "Where are your parents?" The kid says, "What are parents?"
How do you make an adopted kid bleed? ... Tell him to clap until his parents come back.
Stephen was a great person, and he will be greatly missed, but I enjoy these jokes too much to not stop.
I'll always remember my Dad's last words before he died on 9/11... Allahu Akbar!
I accidentally walked on the Lego Batman mask.
I want my fucking feet back!
A man in conversation with his friend says that his wife is on a 3-week diet. The friend curiously asks, how much has she lost? The man replies, "her life."
My Grandmother died last month. The thing that bugs me to this day, I couldn't understand her last words... through the pillow.
Last night I burned down an orphanage.
There was one survivor who said I would regret it. I said, "What are you gonna do, tell your parents?"
If you're bored, joke about an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
If you ever get bored, tell an orphan to take two days off their calendar. If they ask why, say, "Because you're missing Father's Day and Mother's Day."