Loss jokes

Why did the Columbine High School basketball team lose the big game?

Because they lost their two best shooters...

What is 6" long, bright red, and your wife cries when you feed it to her?

Her miscarriage.

I'll always remember my Dad's last words before he died on 9/11...

Allahu Akbar!

Can't wait for the orphans to have their family reunion! Wait...

A Chinese boy never met his parents after they were killed in WW2, so when he learned where they were buried, he quickly rushed there.

He sat down in front of their graves and prayed, "I want to see your face again, mommy..." A miracle happened; his mother rose up from the graves and hugged him.

The boy cried then said, "I want to see you too, dad." He looked at his father's grave, but nothing happened.

Suddenly, a Japanese soldier came up behind him and asked, "Were you looking for me?"

I was at a funeral for some kids in a school shooting. I don't understand why everyone was so sad, so I asked a lady, "what's so sad?" and she said "What do you think was running through these kid's heads before they died?" I replied "probably a bullet". She gasped and said "do you have any idea how insensitive that is? What do you think is running through their parent's heads?" I said "probably all the money they're losing from this funeral."

Q: Why are orphans bad at baseball?

A: They can’t find home.

Very sad today. Found my pet mouse "Elvis" dead this morning. He was caught in a trap.

Where did Suzy go after getting lost on a minefield?

"Everywhere."

What happens when an emo kid loses a Kahoot? He gets a 25 kill streak.

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Why do orphans never play baseball?

'Cause they can never get a home run.

What's the difference between a Lambo and a pile of dead babies?

I don't have a Lambo in my garage.

What's red, 6 inches long, and makes my girlfriend cry when I feed it to her?

Her miscarriage.

What do you call a five year old with no friends?

A Sandy Hook survivor.

My dad was a roof cleaner and I'm dedicating this to him, so dad, if you're up there!

Why did the family move away?

Because they lost their son.

Mama Mia's pizzeria and abortion clinic. Your loss is our sauce.

What do women have on an empty stomach? A miscarriage.

Friend 1: I HATE YOU!

Friend 2: *cries* b-but i-i didn't s-say that!!

Friend 3: *writes on paper with pencil cuz is so bored*

Me: *points at pencil lead* NOW NOW NOW THIS HAS *LEAD* TO SOME SERIOUS FRIENDSHIP LOSS! Plz shut up.

All my friends: *groan at horrible pun*