Look jokes

Look, I didn't hit rock bottom. I gracefully floated down there like Mary Poppins with an umbrella.

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

Yo mama so ugly, Itachi couldn't look at her to put her in a genjutsu.

A police officer pulls over two Catholic priests. He says he's looking for two child molesters.

The Catholic priests look at each other: "We'll do it!"

I looked up "I have whiplash" on WebMD, and it diagnosed me with slavery.

People say killing two birds with one stone is a good thing, but when I did it, people just looked horrified.

Public speaking is a more popular fear than snakes, and you don't see anyone walking in Australia and shout, "Look out! A podium!"

What’s the difference between the way you watch porn and I watch porn?

The windows we look through.

Yo hairline is so crooked it makes your gay best friend look straight.

The lines on the pride flag look pretty straight to me!

My dad’s nickname for me is ‘Tiger’.

Now, my wrists look like a tiger.

Me: I found a group of furries in the woods.

Voice in back: Well, it looks like we're going huntin'.

You look good with anything, but nothing works too.

Do not be racist; be like Mario. He's an Italian plumber, who was made by the Japanese, speaks English, looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew!

So, a doctor walks into the room with a dying patient. He looks the man up and down and says gravely: "I'm sorry, you only have ten left." The other man smiles nervously and asks, "T-ten what doc? Hours? Days? Weeks?" The doctor calmly looks at him. "Nine."

I was going to make a chemistry joke. But it looks like I won’t get a reaction :)

A man comes home and hears his wife talking about having sex at the club. The man busts into the club with a revolver and says, "WHO TF FUCKED MY WIFE?" Well, everyone looks over and is quiet, and someone in the back says, "Mate, you don't have enough bullets."

Your forehead is so big and shiny it looks like a solar field.

Yo mama so stupid, I told her Christmas was right around the corner--and she looked.

Jim and Allyn are 2 mates in the Air Force. They were paired up for a training exercise. They got up into the air and Jim said, "Okay Allyn, your helmet can control the missile when launched from the jet. Go ahead and test fire a missile and aim it at anything you want." Allyn fired the missile and had his eyes set on an abandoned building. Jim then said, "I also forgot, watch out for friendly fire." Allyn said "What?" as he looked over at Jim.