What's an emo's favorite game?
Limbo.
(If you don't understand the joke, go look up what Limbo is.)
A man has a terminal illness and isn't sure how long he has left to live, so he talks to his doctor. The man asks "How long am I going to live?" The doctor says "Depends, what time is it?" The doctor then looks at his watch and says"10" The man asks "Ten what?" Then the doctor keeps going"6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1"
I was at the bar with a friend, and he said to me, "Veronica, I just stopped a rape." The bartender overheard him and had a puzzled look on his face, because he never moved. He then said, "I saw this girl walk into the bathroom, and I decided not to go."
A grasshopper walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender says, "Hey! We have a drink named after you!" The grasshopper looks confused and says, "Oh really? You have a drink named 'Bob'??"
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Why the actual fuck is there drama on this website anyone can fake to be someone there not and no one will know the goddam difference I’m just trying to look at/make jokes and I’m getting shit from people saying “it’s too offensive” or something like goddam just take that shit somewhere else
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
People say killing two birds with one stone is a good thing but when i the it people just looked horrified.
It’s Christmas morning and all the decorations are done but the tree looks like it’s missing something * grabs the noose *
I tour up my homework, but I then replaced it with this copy it may look like it but trust me its diffrenet! The answers ARE RIGHT better than left!
Do you ever look at a person and think, "Just how many generations of inbreeding did it take to create you?"
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Police officer pulls over 2 Catholic priests. Says he’s looking for two child molesters.
Catholic priests looking at each other: We’ll do it!
Things to kids: Dragapult:Ooh, look! Some ammo A Good Parent: My baby Michael Jackson: (HeeHee)
If a school shooter walks into a classroom and shoots an austistic kid, what does the kid say? "Why do I look like Swiss Cheese?"
I was studying in Turin and my professor told me I had to use PENS only. I looked in my bag for pens and they were GONE. I looked at the surveillance footage and saw that CRISTIANO PENALDO stole ALL MY PENS. I was fuming. Shame on you Penaldo!
People told Kobe to fly high look what happend
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
So, Satan is in the delivery room having a child. Soon, a feathered creature comes out. "Doctor," say Satan. "What is it?" The doctor sighs. "Well, it's not a boy, and it's not a girl." Satan looks frustrated. "THEN WHAT IS IT?!?!?" The doctor looks up. "It's a goose."
A guy wins a free ticket to the Super Bowl and so he’s very excited.
However, he’s not so excited when he gets there and realizes his seat’s in the back of the stadium.
So he looks around him for a better seat, and to his surprise he finds an empty seat right next to the field.
He approaches the older guy who’s sitting in the seat next to the empty one and asks if the seat is taken.
The man replies, “No.”
The young guy is very surprised to hear this and asks, “How could someone pass up a seat like this?”
The older guy replies, “It’s my wife’s seat. We’ve been to every Super Bowl together since the day we were married but she’s passed away.”
“Oh, how sad,” the young guy says, taken aback. “I’m sorry to hear that, but couldn’t you find a friend or relative to come with you?”
“No,” the man replies, “They’re all at the funeral.”
