Look jokes

If I look after chickens, does that make me a chicken tender?

A fact! I think I'm officially a poo-buster, as the plunger does look like the weapon in "Ghostbusters"!

I got pranked so many times. Once I saw two wheels rolling down the street. I heard this noise. I looked behind me. There's a legless man in a wheelless chair screaming, "HELP! I CAN'T GO ANYWHERE!" but I walked away. I knew it was a prank.

I was playing basketball and a guy in a wheelchair asked if he could play.

I looked at him and told him that we are looking for ankle breakers, yours are already broken.

Friend texting fat boy: I know you're on the group chat. I can see you looking at my texts.

Me: I can only see fat.

A Scouser at ground zero just after the twin towers fell asks a passer-by, "What time is it, mate?"

An American replies, "That's a mad accent, where are you from?"

The Scouser says, "Liverpool."

The American says, "Oh, what state is that in?"

The Scouser looks around and says, "About the same state as this, mate, but what time is it?"

Bob the builder took one look at you and said, "Nah, I can’t fix that!"

I’m enyaw and I fancy my PE teacher. She is called Kelly Pearce and I go to Beckfoot Oakbank. I always watch her because I am a creep. I live at school under the stairs, but I also try [to] follow her home, and if I'm unsuccessful I look her up on a dodgy website and go on Google maps and look at her door.

Your head is so big, it looks like traffic is able to fit on it!

6 looks like someone facing up.

9 looks like someone facing down.

69 looks like 2 people sucking each other's dicks.

A genealogist looks at the family tree.

A gynecologist looks up the family bush.

If you are a girl--you are allowed to read this.

Look down your shirt and spell attic.

What did Satin say to God??

"Bitch, what the fuck you looking at?"

Are your forehead and your hairline best friends because they look like they go way back?

If you look for something for 10 days and a woman walks in, opens a cabinet, and finds it:

So, just hire a female pope for the Holy Grail that has been missing for 500 years so she just opens a cabinet and she finds it.

I wondered why there was red all over my bathroom til I found out that my sis had dyed her hair red. Man, it looked like somebody died in there! Lol.

Yo mama so dumb, when she looked at the light, she said, "Why is the sun so close to me?"

Plastic bags look like you, dirty and fake.

My friend has a dog who looks like cocoa. Her name is Cocoa!

Your momma so fat when she stepped on one scale, it broke. When she got another one, it said "TBC." She looked in the mirror, it broke.