Location jokes
"Mine is 3 inches."
"That's not very lo..."
"From the ground."
Yo mama is so fat, I thought she was a beach whale.
What’s the difference between a dirty bus terminal and a lobster with implants?
One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean.
I did a walk through and walk home from school, and I got home.
Where did Johnny go after he wandered into a minefield?
Everywhere.
What time is it when you get home? Can you walk me home, and then get home? Then I can walk you home, and walk home.
Where were the first orange trees 🍊🌳 planted?
In Orange County.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the side that he was not on.
Police: Where do you live?
Me: With my parents.
Police: Where do your parents live?
Me: With me.
Police: Where do you all live?
Me: Together.
Police: Where is your house?
Me: Next to my neighbor's house.
Police: Where is your neighbor's house?
Me: If I tell you, you won't believe me.
Police: Tell me.
Me: Next to my house.
Police: *Arrests me*
If you are wondering where the dog went, I don't know. Maybe he went barking around.
Why do musicians in New Orleans smell so good?
Because they're jasmine (jazz men)!
What's the difference between a dirty bus station and a lobster with breast implants?
One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay person's house!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
What's the difference between the Grand Canyon and a blonde?
The Grand Canyon is a busy ditch.
Bird on the beach: seagull.
Bird by the bay: bagel.
Bird down south Philly Walmart parking lot: illegal.
I can't see the bee.
It's by the beehive.
The teacher asks her class, "What is sex?" and Little Jonny stands up and says, "Sex is the temptation caused by the sensation when a boy sticks his location into a girl's destination. Did you get my explanation or do you need a demonstration?" and the teacher fainted.
I just finished my fourth round of baby back ribs. For some reason, everyone else at the abortion center is staring at me.
I needed to take a phone call, so I went to the nearest exit. I guess you can say it was very exciting! 😂
Enemy: You know, I saw you walking down the street, and at first glance, I thought you were a fat and ugly bitch.
Me: Strange... Who puts a mirror in the middle of the street?