Living jokes
In Saudi Arabia, there lived a man named Abdul.
Abdul rhymes with Azul, the Spanish word for blue.
And he probably be lookin' more blue than me.
You live in the airport.
Long live the quee—Oh wait...
Food makers are proudly presenting human flesh-made foods. Donate your useless friends and family to us because we're saving lives.
T and C apply. This is only in the best shops in your town, or down the road, or in your country. 1 like = 1 family member donated 'cause we're saving lives😎😎
Putting WiFi in the morgue to enable live streaming.
Memes
What’s the difference between a cancer patient and a British news reporter in the South?
They usually don’t live to tell the tale.
My dignity to live.
I went to a tall girl and I asked her, "What do you do for a living?" She says, "An account." So I reply with, "An accounting the hairs on people's heads," and then I run away.
What do lizards and Queen Elizabeth have in common?
They both live long with dry skin.
My hair goes just onto my collar bones. WOW! That's longer than I'll live.
Why do orphans live on buses?
They never have a home to stop at.
I constantly wonder how people can live happily ever after, but then I realized that antidepressants don't make you OD.
At least he got D.L.A. (Disability Living Allowance), so it's not all bad. Every cloud has a silver lining...even a mushroom cloud.
Why is being alive so expensive? I'm not even having a good time.
My son got in trouble for writing the following underneath the question “Do aliens exist?”
“Of course they do! They live in Mexico!”
Anakin Skywalker: I don't like sand.
*also him*
Anakin Skywalker: I lived on sand.
The department of touch yourself is coming to the UK near you. I hope Scotland gets freedom. I can't wait to leave England and live in Scotland.
If reincarnation is correct, if you die now, you can be reborn and live a second life. If you were born in Ukraine, you can immediately live a third life.
You look too old to be living with your grandma.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Leaf. “Leaf” who? Leaf my house, or else you will regret it. You don’t live here, you dumb idiot! ?!