Little jokes
What if little Johnny was doing drugs?
"Johnny, Johnny?"
"Yes, Papa?"
"Eating sugar?"
"No, Papa..."
You can’t say “dwarf” anymore; you have to say “little people”.
You can’t say “fat”; you have to say “plus size”.
You can’t say “retard”; you have to say “democrat”.
I live next to a kindergarten, and yesterday they had a fire drill. It was kinda weird because normally it's me who has a drill around little children.
Dr. Seuss dark jokes.
Hey there little mister, I'm dating your sister!
When I'm chilling and a little kid ruins my moment.
Memes
My mom gives me your stuff because you have bad grades.
Me: How about my 5 little brothers? I have A's; he has F's.
She lets him play anyway and I don't.
When I see the little brother in a video get everything, I try it and get grounded ;-;
What’s faster than a black guy with the TV?
His little brother with the console.
Why did the dwarf work at Tesco?
Because every little bit helps!
What does a gynecologist and delivery driver have in common?
Whenever they’re hungry, they can just scrape a little cheese off the top of the box.
One day, a little girl was texting her friend. "Guess what, Angelica!" said the little girl.
"What?" Angelica replied.
"I'm a guy."
My friend came over to my house. He asked where my girlfriend was, and I told him she is in the garden.
He said, "That's weird, I didn't see her." I said, "You have to dig a little."
What's the worst thing to happen to a Japanese person in WW2... being drafted as a kamikaze pilot, or existing with a Fat Man or Little Boy?
What did John say to little Timmy? Happy Disable day!
Why can't I touch little old women, but nursing home nurses can?
Dentist: “This will hurt a little.”
Patient: “OK.”
Dentist: “I’m having an affair with your wife!”
Little Herobrine, I'm cumming in ur mom! Call me Saddam Hussein cuz I'm dropping rap bombs!!
A man walks into a store and orders 2 large chips. They give them to him and he says:
"I ordered 2 large chips, not 100 little ones!"
It's sad when the person that gave you memories becomes a memory.
You know one of the worst feelings ever to exist?
When your parents and friends all still see the happy little kid you used to be...
...but in reality, that kid has been long gone for years. (not my words)
My friend and I were at the mall and decided to try on some necklaces. He said, "I think you should get the one over there." I do. I look at my friend and he’s wearing one with a little extra length so you can adjust it. I asked him, "Did you just break away from your owner to upgrade to clothes and shoes?"