Like jokes
What's a ghost's favorite food?
I like some boo-ritos!
Yo mama so fat she makes the sun look like a dwarf star!
Life is like giving head... it always sucks.
Visiting Alabama? Pop-up dating ads be like: "Never be lonely at cousinsonly.com."
A couple were trying new things in the bedroom to spice up their marriage. The husband would blindfold the wife, put on a condom and she would guess the flavor. They did this one time a night.
The first night, she put the blindfold on and he put the condom on his dick and she tasted it, she immediately knew it was strawberry. The second night, the same thing happened except it was banana. The third night, she put the blindfold on and tasted his dick and said, "Eww it tastes like cheese and onions." The husband replied, "Hang on I haven't put the condom on yet."
Why are friends a lot like snow?
If you pee on them, they disappear.
It’s like I always tell my kids:
"Two in the pink, one in the stink."
It was dinner in the plane, and the flight attendant asked the passenger if he would like dinner.
"What are my choices?" the passenger said.
"Yes or no," the flight attendant replied.
I swear bro, this time I don't want any jokes on 9/11. Like people actually died, like that shit is just plane wrong. 💀
What do you call a priest that likes juice?
A Capriest Sun.
I like chips.
What did Stephen Hawking love that couldn't move?
Himself, ps particularly his whole body. I was gonna say his legs, but then I remembered he was fully paralysed and was like shitttttttttttttttttttttttttttt.
How do pedophiles get kids to suck their d**k?
They spray paint it like candy 🍬.
Life is like a McDonald's meal; it only lasts 7 seconds for fat people.
Why did a girl like bananas?
Because one day she might need to be ready.
What's it like to have the best daughter in the world? You'll have to ask grandma!
What did the rapper say when he broke his mic?
"Looks like I dropped the mic... literally!"
I know this girl, Kamelah. She say, "What are you looking at?" I said, "I’m just tryna figure out why it look like Santa stole your hairline."
You know what, I'm done. We are banning "your mom" jokes. They're old, weird, and have been done thousands of times. Just like your mom.
Why do orphans like water?
Cuz they drink it ;)