Like jokes

Kid: Why do orphans like tennis?

Dad: Because it's the only time they get "love."

I don't get why people don't like my abortion jokes. Do they have a stick up their ass? Wait, that's the other hole.

One day, little Johnny and little Susan were in bible class. Little Susan had been tired that day, so she kept falling asleep. The teacher said to little Susan, "Who is our Lord and Savior?" Little Johnny poked her in the butt with a push pin, and she yelled, "Jesus Christ!" The teacher goes, "That's right, go back to bed." Then, the next thing the teacher asked was, "Who gave up their son for our sins?" Little Johnny poked her again, and she yelled, "God Almighty!" The teacher says, "That's right, go back to bed." The next question the teacher asked was, "What did Adam say to Eve after their 13th child?" Little Johnny poked her in the butt again. She yelled, "If you stick that thing in me again, I am going to break it in half and shove it up your own ass and see how you like it!"

I would like to die like my Islamic father, in his sleep, but not like the rest of the people in the plane or those in those identical towers.

Me: A lot of things changed since I got my wife pregnant.

Friend: Like what?

Me: My name, my address, my phone number...

My elderly relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying, “You’ll be next!”

They soon stopped though, once I started doing the same to them at funerals.

You can sink the Titanic like you can drive a bike. Not a joke.

Why don’t Chinese people model? Because it would look like the same model every time.

Roblox Talent Shows be like:

Host: Next Up is Bob!

Bob: Hi! I'll be singing Pian-

*Buzzing Noises*

Judges: You suck!

Bob: I'm reporting!

*Bob get's kicked from the server*

What do emo kids like to do in their spare time?

Hanging out.

At first, I didn't like Big Ben, but then I went there and the experience was un-BELL-ievable!

Why don't Bald Eagles like fast food? It always runs away!

I tell orphan jokes like there ain’t no parents around.

What do a priest and a pedo have in common?

Nothing, they both like kids.

My friend got a sorry excuse for a new hair style, she says "How do you like my new hair style?"

Me: I think it's a great idea, when are you getting one?

What do bats like to eat?

Bloodsuckers! 🩸🍭😂

Why don’t clams like to share?

Because they’re very shellfish.

I moved so much stone today.

I feel like a guy from Palestine looking for his wife.

One day I was texting my friend on Roblox and I made her mad. She told me she was gonna kill me.

That night, she told me to meet her at the bathroom at 2 PM sharp, but she made "sharp" in all caps. So I went to the bathroom at 2 PM the next day. Now I know what she meant by "SHARP" on Roblox... she brought a knife, and I was in hell by then. Like for the next part!

I like my women how I like my cigarettes: Smokin’ hot, and with a little saliva on the butt.