Like jokes

I always felt like a man trapped in a woman's body. But then I was born.

But in my defense, I was young then, and I had a womb without a view.

One orphan said, "Daddy, chill." I was like, "You don't have a dad!"

Yo mama's like a fridge, she breaks down when she loses her cool.

What do you think fish tasted like before women started swimming?

1 like = 1 Ukrainian child sent to Russia.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?

A: It just felt like it.

Girls are like a bus; you might miss the first bus and catch the second bus.

Q: Why don't pedophiles win races?

A: Because they like to come in a little behind.

Tell someone to say "alpha" and then "kenny one". Tell them to say it very fast. Tell them it sounded like they said, "I'll fuck anyone!"

I like whiteboards.

They're quite re-markable.

Jasper likes little girls and Bin Laden.

Friend, you so faaaat.

Me: Boy, at least I'm not built like a Nintendo Switch.

I went home one day. My mom said, "Look what a few guys got me." It was a MILF trophy.

My mom asked what does that mean. So I said, "Mom's I'd Like To Fuck." Then my mom said, "These guys want to fuck me?" I said, "Yeah." Then my mom said, "I still got it!"

Why do Chinese people like playing Among Us?

It’s the only place they can vote!

Yo' mama sometimes always happens to let you know you're back in New York -- like the way people order in a restaurant: "Could you take my order before Jesus gets back? What's the matter with you? I've evolved into another species here, you understand? I can't eat clam chowder no more. I gotta see the cyborg menu, you understand?"

Rape humor is not funny. Like if you agree.

Like this.

A bully chokes me. I simply say, "Joke's on you, I like being choked!"

I've got not much of anything to be honest.

Been in special classes in school.

Not liked by people.

Only relationship I've ever had and she cheated on me.

31 years old and never had sex, pathetic.

Not very smart.

Don't look good.

Hate myself more than anything.

Been a failure at everything in life.

Probably be alone forever.

People treat me like crap.

Can't do anything right.

And the list goes on and on.

So the question is why haven't I killed myself yet? The answer is, I forget. I'm a extreme procrastinator, keep just putting it off because I'll probably just fuck it up anyway.

Sans: I like eating ketchup, don't believe me? It's ASRIEL as it gets!

UT Sans to UT pap: You FORGHETTIE the spaghetti!!!

Ink sans: umm lust? That's INKAPPROPRIATE!

Fell sans: I hate these double standards...if you burn a body at a crematorium you're doing "a good job," do it at home and your "destroying evidence."

Error sans: Every time you make a typo, the errorists win.