Like jokes
How do you make a cat sound like a dog? Pour gasoline on it, then light it on fire and it will go "WOOF!"
How do you make a dog sound like a cat? Put it in the deep freeze until frozen solid, then run it through an electric saw and it will go "MMMRROWWWWWW!"
How do rappers like their coffee?
With a little bit of RAP-PUCCINO.
How do rappers like their pizza?
With extra rhyme-a-jalapenos.
Leo is like a broken pencil... pointless.
Bro, your hairline and an athletics track have one thing in common: they look like Humpty Dumpty.
You like kissing boys, don't you?
Your hairline looks like a brick wall.
Your hairline got pulled back. You look like you've been climbing Chris, and you got smacked up by Will Smith.
Cereal is like... breakfast soup made out of corn flakes.
Ketchup is like... a smoothie because of the tomato.
Coffee is like... a bean drink energizer.
My life is like... the shoe rack-
Why is the gay kid gay?
Because he likes men.
Your eyebrows run away like your dad.
Osama bin Laden
Got like 2,997 kills, damn, that's a new record!
Why do egos like robbing banks?
They get a cut.
Your hairline is like Justin Bieber’s buzz cut.
Your hairline's exactly like your nose; it's always offside.
You're so poor, you like postcards for food.
What am I gonna do on the 5th anniversary of the Parkland shooting?
Shoot a load in you just like I shot those kids ;)
What does Mammot like on a woman’s body?
Bum bum bummmm buuummmmm bummm.
Why does Mao Zedong like the east coast?
Because there is a red Sun in the sky.
Waitress: What can I get for you?
Me: I'll have a steak.
Waitress: How would you like it?
Me: Immediately!