Like jokes

I like looking at BDSM Ariana Grande :)

I went to the orphanage and shot everyone in there. It's not like anyone will attend their funeral.

Tell me a joke about my hairline.

No, because he don't got one, feel like Donald Trump, it don't move.

Women say their baby daddies are trash like... woman, didn't he impregnate you and didn't he win your heart? I mean, he's not trash, you are!

Texas be like everything is bigger here: guns and winter storms!

What did the Deagle say to the G17?

"Son, you're rushing, but in some way, I like it."

My jokes are like your dad, you only see them for a few days.

Are you an abstract manifestation of my childhood traumas and recent memories combined? 'Cause damn, you look like you came out of a dream!

Squirtle to Bulbasaur: "You kinda cum... like a baka..."

Your mum is stupid, just like you.

Women be like I don't wear makeup for men.

Then get mad when a man doesn't compliment her in her makeup!

One time, a man got mad at me because I was hitting on his girlfriend. Like come on, man, it was only a couple of bruises!

Your hairline looks like the Antarctica waves.

You are like a thunderstorm; when you go away, like your dad, everyone is happy.

Kid at Wish: I wish I could be Batman.

Doctor: Okay, shoots mum and dad. Doctor: I guess now you’ll have to be gay, you wanted to be like Batman.

The circular saw asked the chainsaw, "When am I as big as you?"

The chainsaw would answer with, "When you cut down some things in your life. Like your owner."

The circular saw would reply with, "What?"

You are like my girlfriend: imaginary and non-existent.

I’m part of the anti anime association, but I’m starting to like anime. What do I do?

And for the joke: What do you call a dog with no back legs and a pair of metal balls? Sparky.

You're like a cat, all you do is eat and sleep.

Texas be like, "We vote to freeze ourselves!"