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Cow

You look like a cow went through puberty, put the milk before the cereal, then ate it with a fork with a little sprinkle of steak.

Orphanage

I went to the orphanage and shot everyone in there. It's not like anyone will attend their funeral.

Emo

My friend is an emo. I asked why he wears black. He said, "Black like my soul." I just walked away.

Memes

Orphan

What do you call an orphan who likes football?

Because someone will actually give him something.

Penguin

Did you know penguins can fly if you throw them hard enough? Just like children!

Hairline

Your hairline legit looks like the Himalayan mountain range, except you need binoculars to find it.

Mouth

I am not telling you twice, your mouth stinks, so go burn your house down like a crazy mad woman, and I will call the cops like, "WTH," because you are so fat.

Team

"Chelsea is the most consistent team.

One win in August, one win in September, and one win in October; it's just like a menstrual cycle.

If they don't win in November, just know that they're pregnant." 😅

Documentary

We were watching a 9/11 documentary in class.

I started playing the Angry Birds theme song. That didn't fly well with people, the teacher yelled at me like a bomb, and I landed on the ground.

Child

The mom and dad left the child because they were famous and rich, like rich monkeys.