Like jokes

It smells like something died in my room, oh yeah, it's my dignity, hope, and my feeling. Put in the corner of my room, they make a decent blanket to wipe my tears.

How do you paint a wall red? Throw a baby at it!

I've reached the age where looking in the mirror is like checking the news. I know there'll be some new developments I won't like.

How does a hillbilly mother know when her daughter is on her period? Her son’s dick tastes like blood.

I know this girl, Kamelah. She say, "What are you looking at?" I said, "I’m just tryna figure out why it look like Santa stole your hairline."

Tell me a joke about my hairline.

No, because he don't got one, feel like Donald Trump, it don't move.

Your hairline has a huge path between it, looks like Moses had something to do with it.

I went to the store because I had to go to school to run up downstairs because my phone started calling me because I was playing Mario Kart on my kitchen sink's baby grandma, like if you cry every time.

"Addison, are you one of those kids who are very, very, very, very smart? Because you sound like one."

Q: Why are orphans so scared to get married?

A: They don't know what it feels like to have a family.

My nuts hurt; if you pull them, I will scream.

My nuts tickle; scratch them, and I won’t like you no more.

Dude, your last name sounds like a seafood shop, Jordan C.!

Why do crack heads like to do it doggy style?

So one can peep out window and one can peep on floor.

Peanuts are hard to crack, just like my ex-wife's heart.

What's the difference between humans and mushrooms? I don't like eating mushrooms.

Leo be like: "I like men, yes."

Why does Kermit like Miss Piggy covered in honey? Because he likes sweet and sour pork.

This joke is like a vacuum cleaner... it sucks.

Are you dead? Because you look like my dog.

Looking at me is like being on your phone, in a car, on a long trip. You're fine for the first 10 minutes, then after that you feel sick.