Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end you wish you had a club and spade.
"I had a great day today." "Why?" "Because Allison was frustrated at her calculator and started banging it on the side of the table and the teacher screamed, 'Allison how would you like it if I banged you on the table?'"
My dad is like Hurricane Katrina. I haven’t seen either sense 2005
What is the difference between a feminist and a vegetarian? A vegetarian doesn't eat meat for moral, religious, or health reasons. However, a feminist doesn't act like a bitch for moral, religious, or health reasons.
Brojobs is like air It's not important until you don't have any
Dinosaurs are like my dad. I never got the see either of them and they are now extinct
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Would you like to try African food??
They would too.
Like if you think I'm stupid.
I'm like a broken refrigerator, cool but broken inside
Why do some couples make their status "single" after a small argument? Like, I don't put "orphan" after I get into an argument with my family.
Why do orphans like getting kidnapped? Because someone actually wants them. 🤣
people talking me asking whats the worst day in the year for them. Person 1: The first day of school cause i don't like going to school
Person 2: Valentines day cause its to lovey
Me: oh nice mines my birthday cause its when i was born
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Why is sex like math? You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there's no multiplying.
Leave a like down below if you think Stephen Hawking should stand for the National Anthem.
A wife is like a grenade. Pull the ring and the house is gone.
Little Johnny was eating dinner with his family. His mother went around the table and asked, "mark, what would you like to eat?" Mark said, "I'd like some fucking potato's." *SMACK*! mother slapped mark. She then asked suzie, "what would you like to eat?" "Well, I'd like some fucking potatos" said suzie *SMAACK*! she slapped suzie. "Ok. Johnny, what would you like to eat?" Well.... I sure as hell dont want no fucking potatos.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Gays: "I like men."
Straight: "I like women."
Bisexual: "A hole is a hole."
