My friend Jimmy said his dad is exactly like Santa. I asked, "Why is it because he gives people presents?" Jimmy told me, "No, it's because I hear so many good things about him but and how he's gonna come home, but never see him."
the earth is not round . please like and subscribe
The last number of your like is the amogus you get.
1: Amogus trollface 2: frogus 3: amogus in 2013 4: chogus 5: classic amogus 6: wait this isnt amogus 7: amogus drip 8: amog sus 9: amog stuff
Wives are like grenades. Remove the ring and boom, house is gone!
Like, and commet if your single
isn't having Depersonalization mean that you like the animatronics off of fnaf/five night of freddies (if you don't know what Depersonalization is look it up)
i like trains *train hits him*
Surveys say that 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea. That means the 5th one likes it.
An American is lecturing a British person, saying things like "it's an elevator not a lift" and "it's chips not crisps" etc. After a while of this the British person calmly retorted "they're schools, not shooting ranges".
Like if you know someone is emo
My family is like a cactus; a bunch of pricks.
My German girlfriend likes to rate our sex between 1-10.
Last night we tried anal, she kept shouting 9!
That's the best I've done so far.
My child: "Dad, am I beautiful?"
Me: "You’re like the sun, sweetie. You’re painful to look at."
Women are like blackjack. I’m trying for 21, but I always hit on 14.
Other girls be like "I want a 6ft guy", meanwhile I want to be 6ft under 😃👍
My girlfriend accused me of cheating. I told her she was starting to sound like my wife.
Hi, you guys dont know me, but i have my best interests at heart. Im a kind person who wants to put a stop to the bullying. I think that gwen, addison banks, watersharky, ect. are kind people! also, i kinda like watersharky...
"I had a great day today." "Why?" "Because Allison was frustrated at her calculator and started banging it on the side of the table and the teacher screamed, 'Allison how would you like it if I banged you on the table?'"
My dad is like Hurricane Katrina. I haven’t seen either sense 2005
Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end you wish you had a club and spade.
