So the other day, I was looking up zodiac sign stuff, you know, I'm a real big fan of that, and I come across this thing and it’s like all zodiac signs have their own hairstyles... except Cancer.
Once, there was a woman who had a husband and a dog. The husband dies.
The dog would always sleep under the bed, and when the woman would go to sleep, she'd put her hand down, and the dog would lick it to say she/he was alright. One night, it was thunderstorming. She put her hand down and the dog licked normally. She heard the dog whimper, so she put her hand down like normal, as the dog always does, he/she licks her hand.
Then she heard dripping coming from the bathroom, so she went to go stop the leaking that might be coming from the tap, but the tap wasn't on, nor was it dripping. She turns on the light and looks up at the roof to see if the roof was leaking but turns out her dog was hung by its head above the bathtub.
On the mirror it said, "Humans can lick too," in the dog's blood.
This is a true story, don't be afraid to look it up!
What did Jake say to Peggy?
"CALC-U-LATOR!" Get it? Like, "Catch you later!"
Your hairline look like the batman symbol
You look like a double dipped chocolate chip cliff flipped glazed charcoal slim jim Mr. clog hunch frap, no feet, 9 arms, 17 stomachs. You stepdad beat you with a wiffle ball bat. NBA Youngboy was in your bathroom spitting on you and now you got herpes on your left side cheek.
Why does the retard not like eating his vegetables? Because he knows not to be a cannibal, he knows somehow.
Don’t like this post, or else I will go to your house and eat you! 😈
Like if you laugh.
Hear about the new restaurant called Karma?
There’s no menu: You get what you deserve.
If you like this post, you will die!!!! Don’t do it 👿😅😎
Imagine if this got over 69 likes! Wow! 🤩 🇫🇷
Hi, my name is Uncle Joe, and I like kids in a way that makes their parents not trust me anymore.
Guys, don’t suck your own dick, it does not feel like your dick is being sucked, it feels like you're sucking a dick.
Emos are weird to me because they dress up all black, and you know I don't like that, so that's why I don't like it.
"Proud Boys," more like insecure little bitches!
You guys know BeReal?
BeReal? More like cereal.
Get it? BeReal = cereal.
Yo mama jokes are so old, like your mom.
So, a few hours ago my friend said I need to CUT it out with the s/h jokes... like... it's really not that deep?
This is why orphans are dangerous with cardboard. They either start eating it or making it into a house and hallucinating that they have a family.
So I threw out the cardboard and said, "You have to stay in reality. Fantasies aren't real. You can't and will never get a home."
Next day, they make cardboard parents, so I threw that away and said, "Pay attention to reality; you will never get parents."
Next day, they start acting like parents and tell me what to do. Again, I said, "Snap to reality. You will never be a parent!" The orphan responded with, "Oh, really?! How so?" I just simply said, "You don't have a house and parents. You literally like eating cardboard, and then you make parents out of it. You like to eat old people!"
I like my girlfriend's new secondary school uniform, I guess, but doesn’t beat her old primary school one. 😀
What did the poo say when it fell out of your bum?
"Your anus looks like my mum's bedsheet which is smelly and covered in poo."
I also just wanted to add that a Goonie's anus looks like my nan's mouth.
