Like jokes
A man has the power to grant anyone a wish they want.
A kid comes up and says, "I want to be like Batman!"
The man smiles and grants his wish. The child goes home and finds that he is now an orphan.
Being raped is like a dance; sometimes it hurts, sometimes it hurts more.
I told someone some jokes, y'know? "Fruit Ninja," "barcode legs," "French puppet thigh wrings." And she was like saying that's not cool and stuff. So she reported me, and it was like:
The counselor: "So I've heard you've been making sh jokes?" Me: "You say it like it's a bad thing." Her: "It is." Me: "Chill bro, it ain't that deep. Don't worry I'll end it :)"
You're as tall as a giraffe.
Well, that's why you look like a baked bean!
Why do rapists and pedophiles never win a race?
Because they always like to come in a little behind.
Isn't having depersonalization mean that you like the animatronics off of FNAF/Five Nights at Freddy's?
(If you don't know what depersonalization is, look it up.)
Why do Fortnite players have such good teeth?
Because they like to floss.
I have a joke about time travel, but I'm not gonna share it. You guys didn't like it.
James Bond: Vodka martini.
Bartender: Shaken, not stirred.
James Bond: Do I look like I give a damn?
Like if you have nuts.
Like this if you're an American.
My wife told me to treat her like a princess, so I got drunk and drove through the tunnel.
"Chelsea is the most consistent team.
One win in August, one win in September, and one win in October; it's just like a menstrual cycle.
If they don't win in November, just know that they're pregnant." 😅
Having cockroaches in the house is a sign that you've food.
These things are like Ugandan girls, they hate poverty.
British emo people be like, "Oi, I'm upset."
Bro's hair looks like Buzz Lightyear, going to infinity and beyond!
You think you guys are funny, but look at your hairline. It be looking like the McDonald's symbol. 😂😂😂😂😭😭💀🤨🍆💦👶🏻😈😈😈😈😈😂😂😂😂😂😂👍😳😳😳😭😭😭😭😭😭🤨
Bro, the Twin Towers are like my grandpa and his friends. One survived—my grandpa. The others have fallen—his friends.
I'm just like my LEDs, I'm meant to be hung.
I am not telling you twice, your mouth stinks, so go burn your house down like a crazy mad woman, and I will call the cops like, "WTH," because you are so fat.