Like jokes
Straight men change their girlfriends like they change their undies. So, about once a month.
Your hairline receded like the girls did after the party.
At a party, a young wife admonished her husband, "That's the fourth time you've gone back for ice cream and cake. Doesn't it embarrass you?"
"Why should it?" answered her spouse. "I keep telling them it's for you."
During Halloween, my friend went as a skeleton.
He refused to go into the haunted house. Looks like he was SPINE-LESS.
How is the world like a box of crayons?
Nobody likes the white ones.
And a side note, it's multi colored.
Tell me a joke about my hairline.
No, because he don't got one, feel like Donald Trump, it don't move.
I know this girl, Kamelah. She say, "What are you looking at?" I said, "I’m just tryna figure out why it look like Santa stole your hairline."
How does a hillbilly mother know when her daughter is on her period? Her son’s dick tastes like blood.
How is sex like air?
It’s not a big deal unless you aren’t getting any.
Kylin likes to eat Violet's ass.
"Kylin milks me all day like I'm a cow."
If a black person calls you a cracker, let them say it. You can say things they can't say, like, "Thanks for the warning, officer!"
I don't think my girlfriend likes it when I take my schizophrenia meds because she always goes away when I take them.
Why did the orphan rob the bank? Because he wanted to know what it felt like to be wanted.
What kind of music do wind turbines like?
They are big, heavy metal fans!
I don't think I could ever become a beggar. I really don't like change.
Tell someone that you're gonna say “I 1 poopoo” and it will go in order of numbers, so they say, “I 2 poopoo” & so on:
You) I 1 poopoo
(Them) I 2 poopoo
(You) I 3 poopoo
(Them) I 4 poopoo
(You) I 5 poopoo
(Them) I 6 poopoo
(You) I 7 poopoo
(Them) I 8 poopoo
And be like, “You ate poopoo??! EWW!!”
You. Me. Gas station. What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh! There was a roofie in our gas station sushi. We black out and wake up in a sewer surrounded by fish.
Horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy. The stench draws in a bear. What do we do? We're gonna fight it. Bear fight. Bare handed. Bare, naked? Oh, yes please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl and ride it into a Chuck E. Cheese. Dance Dance Revolution. Revolution? Overthrow the government? Uh, I think so. Next thing you know, I'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then I turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out, which I didn't even know you could do. Then I smoked a joint, greened out. Then I turn into the sun. Uh oh! Looks like the meth is kicking in. aklfhaofhasfahfakh AAAAAAAAA afahfioahflkf AAAAA
Why do Emos love Christmas? So they can pretend they're ornaments and hang themselves on trees. Hope you liked it, happy holidays!
- The emo went to give the tree a high five, but the emo was left hanging.
- How did the gay person die? Homicide.
- Why did the emo get kicked out of the amusement park? He was cutting in line.
- When does a joke turn into a dad joke? When it leaves and never comes back.
- I cried when my dad chopped onions. Onions was such a good dog.
- I have happy memories building sandcastles with my dad, until my mom took his urn away.
- How is the person over there different from cancer? His dad didn't beat cancer.