Like jokes
Dark jokes are like gay people, Not everyone likes them.
She's a 10, but she doesn't like sex.
Y'all smell like ass!
Guy, it was so weird yesterday. I saw a guy, and he kept repeating the same thing over and over. I hate people with dementia. I told my mom to get a new mirror, but she won’t listen to me. It’s almost like I said it like 20 times every time I say it.
You can sink the Titanic like you can drive a bike. Not a joke.
I don't know what to write here, just like...
Your hairline is so big, it looks like the TITANIC.
Like if you're short.
I like your mom naked.
Why is sex like math?
You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there’s no multiplying.
That chromosome gon' leave just like your hairline. 😗😮😮
I'm going to start taking confetti with me to therapy so when my therapist asks me, "How are you?" I can say "sad" and toss the confetti everywhere. It'll be like a real-life iMessage!
I forgot you can't make depression jokes outside of Twitter, lmao. My coworker was like, "You ready for this year to be over?"
I was like, "I'm ready for this life to be over." He was like, "Bro, what?"
Therapist: And what is it about this generation that bothers you?
Satan: I give them the intro tour and they just say shit like "ooo spooky lol."
Therapist: That's not so bad.
Satan: When I showed one girl the pit of everlasting flame, she sighed and said "big mood."
I don’t trust anyone who doesn’t feel like screaming.
What does a disabled disco play?
"When your legs don’t work like they used to before."
God = what I hope to be.
Devil = what I can't accept.
I hope to be like Jesus, a dead martyr. I can't accept that my religion is evil.
Depressed procrastinators feel like they wanna kill themselves sometime soon.
"Would you like to play the rape game?"
"No wtf" she replied.
"That's the spirit!"
Three men met on a nude beach. Two of the three men were happy, but the third was sad.
The three men broke into a conversation. The topic eventually reached the men's jobs, and why they were at the beach.
"I'm a construction worker," said the first man. "All year long I toil in the sun in very heavy clothes, so this seemed like the perfect vacation for me. If I can relax and do it naked, that's a win-win."
"I'm an accountant," said the second man. "I just like how everyone here is dressed exactly the same."
The first two men turned to the third, sad man. "What do you do?" they asked.
"I'm a pickpocket," said the third man. "My doctor sent me here."