Why does an orphan like The Beatles? Because it's family friendly.
Like Jokes
Your mom is a spy <3, just like in bed.
I have a better method of abortion than currently used. It's like a regular one, except you can get free food out of it... We're about to give baby-back ribs a whole new meaning.
My mom told me to go to bed, but then I grabbed a drink and went in their room to say goodnight, and they looked like Adam and Eve on steroids!
It’s true women do make less money than men.
But it’s their fault because they choose the lower paying jobs. Men, for example, choose the higher paying jobs like doctor or lawyer. Whereas women choose the lower paying jobs like women doctor and women lawyer.
Juice WRLD
More like "Juice Boxed."
RIP tho.
A man has the power to grant anyone a wish they want.
A kid comes up and says, "I want to be like Batman!"
The man smiles and grants his wish. The child goes home and finds that he is now an orphan.
Being raped is like a dance; sometimes it hurts, sometimes it hurts more.
I told someone some jokes, y'know? "Fruit Ninja," "barcode legs," "French puppet thigh wrings." And she was like saying that's not cool and stuff. So she reported me, and it was like:
The counselor: "So I've heard you've been making sh jokes?" Me: "You say it like it's a bad thing." Her: "It is." Me: "Chill bro, it ain't that deep. Don't worry I'll end it :)"
You're as tall as a giraffe.
Well, that's why you look like a baked bean!
Why do rapists and pedophiles never win a race?
Because they always like to come in a little behind.
Isn't having depersonalization mean that you like the animatronics off of FNAF/Five Nights at Freddy's?
(If you don't know what depersonalization is, look it up.)
Why do Fortnite players have such good teeth?
Because they like to floss.
I have a joke about time travel, but I'm not gonna share it. You guys didn't like it.
James Bond: Vodka martini.
Bartender: Shaken, not stirred.
James Bond: Do I look like I give a damn?
Like if you have nuts.
Like this if you're an American.
My wife told me to treat her like a princess, so I got drunk and drove through the tunnel.
"Chelsea is the most consistent team.
One win in August, one win in September, and one win in October; it's just like a menstrual cycle.
If they don't win in November, just know that they're pregnant." 😅
Having cockroaches in the house is a sign that you've food.
These things are like Ugandan girls, they hate poverty.
