Like jokes
Hookers are like drive-thrus; you tell them what you want, pay for your stuff, and leave.
Did you hear about the two-car pile-up in Mexico? Yeah like 200 Mexicans died.
If you hate America, I don't like you :)
What's the similarity between Catholic Priests and McDonalds? They both like sticking their meat in 6-year-old buns.
Why doesn't bread like warm weather?
It gets toasty!
When I went to basketball training, there was a giant bag of basketballs on the floor.
My friend was like, "That's a huge sack of balls!"
He didn't realize what was about to happen.
"That's what she said!"
What was blue and black and doesn't like to have sex... The little girl in my trunk.
A slag is like the first piece of bread in a loaf. Everyone touches it, but nobody wants it.
I'd like to relish the fact that you've mustered up the courage to ketchup to my level.
Osama Spin Laden, dropping beats like the twin towers.
You want to know what the ugly truth looks like?
Go look in the mirror.
Viagra is a lot like amusement parks...
It's a one hour wait, for a two-minute ride.
Follow me on Instagram @v2good.at.fortnite and @v2good.at.edits for a surprise.
Btw, you have to like all my posts :)
I am Wayde, I like ranga balls, please cum in my ass.
I'll never forget how my grandmother died. "This lemonade tastes like bleach..."
I like my humor like my people. Well done.
So a guy named Nathaniel just came home, and when he enters his sister’s room, he sees her f***ing a piece of broccoli. And Nathaniel says, “Abbie, what’s wrong with you? I was going to eat that later, and now it smells like broccoli!”
Why does Beethoven's music sound like hell sometimes?
Because he doesn't listen to it!
So there I was, having a fantastic time going down on my nan.
When suddenly I got a nasty taste in my mouth.
"Wait a minute," I said. This distinctly tastes like horse semen.
Then it clicked.
"Ah, so that's how you died."
If the broccoli said, "I look like a tree," then what did the mushroom say?
"I look like an umbrella."