Do you like tree jokes? Because they leaf me in tears! :3
My friend looks like a homeless, thanks for the jokes.
Orphan jokes are like families, not everyone gets 'em.
(Also, I banged ya mum ;))
I like my coffee the way I like jokes about my coffee, I don't.
I met this kid and he was being bullied by 9 people. I Asked 1 whats going on. They all said another one to bully they all tried hitting me and then my mates which was like 15 of them came in and it was like war all over again.
Angel: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?
Satan: Could you like FUCK OFF FOR ONE MINUTE?
Your nana gay, just like you, and you're made of atoms, nerd.
I asked my North Korean friend, "what's it like to live in North Korea?" He responded, "can't complain."
I hear skeletons like to play the saxaBONE, though I think the tromBONE would be better, but tibia honest, both can be HUMERUS, wouldn't wanna hurt your funny bone, but I think your starting to get BONELY so I'll stop pulling your leg. Now get out before I give you a bad time.
What's the difference between homework and a hooker? They both start with an "H", but we all know which one we would like to do.
Looks like the gene pool in your family is about three inches deep.
Visiting Alabama? Pop-up dating ads be like: "Never be lonely at cousinsonly.com."
What did the airplane say to the paper plane? Why do you look like a wimp?
My mom gave me a box of chocolates, and she said life is like a box of chocolates, but then it kind of tastes like dog shit.
A mouse is just like a ball bearing.
Drench them in oil, and they stop squeaking.
They told me Avengers: Endgame was going to be 3 hours long, but honestly? I felt like it was over in a SNAP!
So, a daughter goes to her dad and says, "Daddy, can I borrow the car?" He then tells her, "You know what to do." So then she proceeds to suck him off, almost immediately pulls out in disgust, and says, "Ugh, tastes like shit." Her dad then said, "Damn, I forgot your brother took the car."
So there I was, fucking my sister, and she shouts, "God, you fuck like Dad!" I then said, "Damn, that’s what Mom said."
You: Say "addicted" after everything I say.
Person: Uh okay.
You: When you're obsessed with candy you are...?
Person: Addicted.
You: When you're obsessed with drugs you are...?
Person: Addicted.
You: What hit you in the face last night?
Person: Addicted... *laughs*
(It's supposed to sound like "A dick did")
Why did the grandmother put wheels on her rocking chair?
... she likes to rock and roll lol.
