Like jokes
Why did the emo kid like the all black Oreos?
'Cause they're dark.
L bozos fell like my grandma on the stairs.
Your hairline is so far back you look like Frankenstein.
TEST QUESTION: what looks like half an apple?
My cousin: the other half.
Russians be like: "bfddrhnnkhsaxbjk speak English!"
Putin be like, Finland and Sweden are bullying me with NATO, the same NATO that can't even reload a gun! Russians are pussies!
Putin be like CSGO is much harder in real life!
Russia be like we're strong, gets ass beat up by a comedian with a hook nose...
#i stand with Ukraine 🇺🇦
Putin be like that boat is now a submarine!
Trump likes to grab 'em by the pussy. Putin likes to grab them by their tiny hands.
Why do Orphans like school?
Because they don't have a home to go back to afterwards.
So I went to my friend's house and he told me to make myself at home, so I kicked him out. I don't like visitors.
My cousin: Brother, I lost in a game of Call of Duty: Moe Bill [he was supposed to pronounce it as mobile; however, I left it as it is].
Me: So tell me about it then.
My cousin: I lost to Sum_Baldi.
Me: Somebody? Don’t they have, like, the name of you opponents?
My cousin: No, no, no, the name was Sum_Baldi. S.U.M_B.A.L.D.I.
Me: Ok, my bad. Continue.
My cousin: I got Sum_Baldi, and 5 seconds later, I got kill[ed] by Sum_Fing_Wong.
Me: It’s not wrong! In Call of Duty, you are suppose to kill or be killed.
My cousin: No, no, no, the name was Sum_Fing_Wong. S.U.M_F.I.N.G_W.O.N.G.
Me: My bad again. Do continue.
My cousin: I got so angry I blow[ed] up.
Me: So you got blowed up, by what weapon?
My cousin: By the game.
Me: [was not expecting that for an answer]
I ear ass your dad's ass and he likes it.
How do pedophiles get kids to suck their d**k?
They spray paint it like candy 🍬.
Teacher: What do you kids want to be when you grow up?
Kid 1: I want to be a firefighter.
Kid 2: I want to be a police officer.
Kid 3: I want to be dead like both my parents.
Teacher: Ok, everyone pull out your books.
Kid 4: Are we going to ignore what he said?
Teacher: What do you want me to do? Call his parents?
Y'all are so rude on here. If you don't like what I put on MY profile, you can click your rude ass off of my profile and look at some other fucking jokes. DO NOT INTERACT WITH ME IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING RUDE TO SAY ABOUT ME!
Schools be like "dRuGS arE BaD," then prescribe a 6-year-old Adderall for not wanting to sit in the same spot for 8 hours.
I like my men like I like my Alexa:
By my bed and turned on.
I like my men like I like my coffee: black and hot.