Life is like a penis: women make it hard for no reason.
I would roast BlessedBrian, but it seems LIFE already did a thorough job
I’ve seen more life in a trampled garden gnome then in BLESSEDBRIAN’S jokes
Why was the rapper always the life of the party?
Because they knew how to DROP the BEAT
Why was the rapper always happy?
Because he lived life on the RHYME SIDE
I’ve seen more life in a bowl of WEEK-OLD GUACAMOLE than in BLESSEDBRIAN’S jokes
My screen lock is my favorite picture of my wife. When I'm on a 14-hour shift, being miserable, hating my life... I pull out my phone and gaze at the picture of my wife. Then I realize it's better here than at home with her ass.
Life is like a bag of jellybeans Nobody likes the black ones
I feel bad for the people who were born on April,1 Their life is a joke
Today, I operated on a little girl, she needed O- negative blood. We didn’t have any, but her twin sister has O- negative blood. I explained to her that it was a matter of life and death. She sat quietly for a moment, and then said goodbye to her parents. I didn’t think anything of it until after we took her blood and she asked, “so when will I die”? she thought she was going to give her life for her sister. Thankfully they both died.
My dad told me "No electronics at the table", so I unplugged my grandma's life support.
What’s one thing Obama proved during his presidency
No matter how far a brotha gets in life, he’s still going to have the cops on his back
