Life Jokes

There were 5 people on an airplane. 1. The pilot 2. The businessman 3. The Minister 4. The school child 5. The Smartest person in the world

The plane takes off, A good, solid 1 hour in, The pilot comes out and says "Ok guys, I have good news and bad news, Bad News is the plane is gonna crash, The good news is that I have 4 parachutes" The pilot says to his passengers, " Well I'm a pilot, I fly planes, People depend on me" Took a parachute and went out. The businessman stands up and says " Well I'm a businessman, I run companies" Took a parachute and went out The smartest person in the world stands up and says " I'm the smartest person in the world, No one is smarter than me" Took a parachute and went out Now the minister says to the school child " Well God has given me a good life, I want you to take the last parachute" and the school child has a massive smile on her face and starts laughing all of the sudden and the minister says " Why are you smiling?!, We're about to die!!!!" and the school child says to the minister "Well actually not gonna die because there are still 2 parachutes left because the smartest person in the world just took my school bag

what do you call a depressed person's life

at this point, non-existent

how many senators fans does it take to change a light bulb. All 3 of them

Hockey for life

if you think your life is bad than pepole are discusing the gender of mr potato head

Wesley, stop saying your life is a joke. Jokes have meaning.

You know it’s called the circle of life? Cuz there’s no point to it.

we forge the chains we wear in life

If you’ve got depression then your life is a joke. Everyone laughs at both

Our teacher told us to write a story about the life of a object that's not alive, so i wrote a story about an emo kid

If r kelly was a therapist:

14 year old: I hate my life R kelly: I feel you

I decided today that I was going to do something with my life, something amazing, and I decided to punch a homeless man

My friend was feeling low today so I went up to her and said "You know I would hang in there if I was you, swaying through life" I don't think she likes me now

ask someone if they are a rhino, if they say yes, tell them "so youre horny" and if they reply yes again, block them from your life entirely

Someone: I got chickens out there vibin Me: What? oh you mean those over sized chickens that just shows an example of you in real life Someone: . . .

If anyone's joke here says "burn in hell", I will mimic your account for the rest of your life.

I say these jokes are life saving material. Who's with me?

Suicide won't work, I'm already dead inside

(amazing pick up line) yoo what if we got matching tattoos u get 2 towers and i get a plane, Bc i crashed right into ur life ;)

i’m start taking confetti with me to therapy so when my therapist asks me “how are you?” i can say “sad” and toss the confetti everywhere it’ll be like a real life imessage

I forgot you cant make depression jokes outside of twitter lmao my coworker was like “you ready for this year to be over?” I was like “im ready for this life to be over” he was like bro what