Life Jokes

Want to hear an abortion joke, or any joke for that matter? You have that option, and you can thank your mother for that. But that's a question that will never be heard by an aborted unborn baby, whose only option was death. And that's no joke.

My life lmao.

M y l i f e . . .

What is the most expensive type of sex you will ever enjoy in your life? The type which will shorten your life by 5 to 10 years

himy name is robert i have no life even my ps4 user name is gay lil_bama

my lfe

I wanted some breakfast, so I grabbed some Life cereal. I poured it, but lemons came out. So I said "Well, when life gives you lemons!"

If I was an object in this world I'd be a glass! Because if you leave me when I'm too close to the edge I will likely shatter and break.

If I was a pizza topping I would be pineapple! Because everybody doubts me.

I'm a star! Because one of these days I'm going to crash and burn...

If I could choose what creature I come back as after I die I'd be a panda, because people would give a shit if I went extinct.

I'm like the sun; I'm painful to look at.

If I was a food I would be chopped liver because nobody likes me.

I'm like an eggshell... broken and empty.

If I was a mythical creature I'd be a unicorn! Because nobody believes in me.

I'm like a flashlight with old batteries inside because my inner light died a long time ago.

My soul is a raisin because it's dried up shriveled, and not everyone likes it.

I'm like the moon because you only get to see one side of me.

I'm like the moon because as the month progresses my life becomes covered more and more by darkness.

I'm like an Ex streamly powerful fan! Because I push everyone away.

I'm like a disposable camera! People use me once and then just throw me away.

I'm like a shity book cover... because people think they have the right to judge and label me before they read my pages.

My brain and body is essentially a really old married couple that can't afford to go through with the divorce and now they are stuck in a toxic relationship they are desperate to escape but the more they try the more they sink into the quicksand that is my depression and anxiety

Help me....

What do you do when life gives you lemons Slit your wrist and give a lemon a twist.🙂💊💉

I’ve seen more life in a bowl of WEEK-OLD GUACAMOLE than in BLESSEDBRIAN’S jokes

BOB:Wanna know a joke

LILLY: What ur hat?

BOB: no my life :'(

The worlds funniest joke your life

Imagine being such a low life that u need people to roast u to have stuff to do

Wanna know something funny? Well there was this one time when my parents were talking about their marriage. Then after the wedding, they decided to make a joke and then 9 months later I was born. My birthday. (4/1/06) April 1, 2006

apparently imma category for jokes now. hmm... ok! #HOMIEZ4Life

P.S. Say "crack my finger", now say it backwords:)

A turtle was walking down the street when suddenly a snail came and robbed him. When the police came he asked what happened, the turtle responded '' I don't know, it all happened so fast''.

A man named Icide ruined my life. I asked a friend if he would help me sue him. He said yes. But for some reason, he killed me. All I wanted was for someone to help me sue-Icide...