Life jokes
How to not exist: Kys.
Your hairline is so bad when you need a role model who has been having a tough life, you go to your barber.
Marry or don't marry, you will regret both!
Woman: A woman’s life is harder, there is menstruation, periods, birth...
Man: Men have to deal with women.
Dee.
Why was the orphan stupid?
Because his parents couldn't guide him.
My girlfriend really wants me to get her pregnant so she would have a father figure in her life for once.
Q. What's the best part of living in Alabama?
A. Not having to change your last name when you get married.
I hate it when people say age is only a number. Age is clearly a word.
You're the sun in my life, now get 93 million miles away from me.
What do you call an 18 year old orphan?
Homeless.
Did you know that they are making a movie about the four boys who lost their lives on the ice? They're calling the movie "The Lost Boys."
Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies.
Why? You ask.
Because it only takes one charge to bring it back to life.
I am the orphan joke.
What is a joke that will never end even though you want it to?
For me, life.
Why did the Headless Horseman get a job?
He was trying to get ahead in life.
How do you cut your grass without a lawnmower?
You dye it blue and it will cut itself.
I overdosed on Viagra yesterday.
It was the hardest day of my life.
I get jealous when my phone dies.
Why have there been so many deaths around the world?
Trees and ropes.