Life jokes

Marry or don't marry, you will regret both!

When someone calls me ugly, I get sad and hug them.

I know life can be difficult for those with weak vision.

My girlfriend really wants me to get her pregnant so she would have a father figure in her life for once.

Q. What's the best part of living in Alabama?

A. Not having to change your last name when you get married.

I hate it when people say age is only a number. Age is clearly a word.

If you give a man a plane ticket, he will fly for a couple of hours, but if you push a man out of a plane, he will fly for the rest of his life :)

I feel bad for the people who were born on April 1.

Their life is a joke.

What is the difference between me and Paul Walker?

I’ve watched Fast and Furious Seven.

I heard life was a gift. Well, I hope they kept the receipt, because I'd like a mother-fucking refund!

I am the orphan joke.

What does an orphan's life and a pseudoword have in common?

They both have no meaning.

Did you know that they are making a movie about the four boys who lost their lives on the ice? They're calling the movie "The Lost Boys."

Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies.

Why? You ask.

Because it only takes one charge to bring it back to life.

You're the sun in my life, now get 93 million miles away from me.

Hey guys, can we stop making these jokes? If my mom sees this, I will never see the sun again.

Oh . . .

:(

Continue.

I get jealous when my phone dies.

Why have there been so many deaths around the world?

Trees and ropes.

Why did the orphan fail all his classes?

He couldn’t do his homework.

Small word of advice: Don't wait till next month or next year to do stuff with the people you love, because they may be gone by then. You don't realize, but every second there is someone who dies, and it just could be your loved one.

What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?

Apples get picked.