When I go to weddings, old people will tell me I'm next, but when I go to funerals, I tell old people they're next.
22. Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
24. When does a joke become a dad joke? When it leaves you and never comes back.
31. My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. So I unplugged his life support.
The cancer patient asked the doctor how many more months he had to live. The doctor replied, "Tu-more."
"I hope my death would make more sense than my life."- Joker
I saw a kid crying, so I asked them where their parents were.
God, I love working at an orphanage!
Why can't you fool an aborted fetus?
Because it wasn't born yesterday.
What's worse than 10 babies is one dumpster...
1 baby in 10 dumpsters.
If they made a movie about your sex life, what would it be?
In Afghanistan, it would be "Twelve Years a Slave!" 🤣
Life is a lot like a penis. It's relaxed, and just hanging there.
It's women that make it hard.
(To a thief) If you like taking things, how about you take my life?
What do you call a disabled kid who is blind?
A grape chilli bean.
Did you hear about the person who died? I would tell you about him, but he died.
Lol, I have no life :)
What’s an orphan's favorite food?
: Not home food.
I saw an orphan and I said, "Yo."
He said, "What do you want?"
I said, "To be your new father."
"Really??!" the orphan said.
Me: Lol, no.
Orphan *Jumps into street*
Deja-poo.
The sense or feeling you have dealt with this crap in the past.
People need to stop taking life so seriously. After all, no one gets out alive!
Life has ups and downs, and they had downs.
Can we please stop the fricking drama! I see people bullying other people, too. Gwen is not the only one. For God's sake, just do jokes! If you want to bully someone, do it in your family! You people don't even know each other, but we're still doing this stupid nonsense! Just make jokes, people! That is why it's called "Worst Jokes Ever," not "Bully People Ever." So shut up and get a life, dum-dums! Geez! The only reason why I come here is to spread jokes and kindness like Gwen and others, not to spread hate and foolishness from people who don't even know better things to do but to hate on stupid strangers from different parts of the fricking world!!!!
"Addison, shut up. You're only 8 years old. What do you know?"
I might be 8, but at least I got some sense, and plus, I'm way smarter than you guys anyway. I'm in alert. You know, like a very, very, very intelligent kid! That can spell instead of saying "u," I say the true "you," instead of "pls," it's "please." Sorry if I did mean it... which I don't!
1.) What’s yellow and can’t swim?
- A bus full of children.
2.) Did you hear about the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
- He died of a yeast infection.
3.) I will never forget my grandad’s last words...
- “You’re still holding the ladder, right?”
4.) I have a fish that can breakdance...
- Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.
5.) Give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours...
- Light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
