Life jokes
Life's full of ups and downs :D <3
If a baby dies in the womb, is it considered suicide?
"I've only been ripped off twice in my life. The first time was when I ordered three kebabs and they only delivered two. The second time was when we signed Cristiano Ronaldo."
-Al Nassr owner
A man asked another man if he was happy with his marriage. He replied, "Yes, I'm very happy. We go on date night every week." The other man asked, "When?" He goes on Wednesday and I go on Thursday.
I hate my birthday. For my first birthday my mom gave me my life. I liked it when it was new and fun. Now it's broken and sad and I wanna take it back.
I have a joke about death.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Think about it :)
When I go to weddings, old people will tell me I'm next, but when I go to funerals, I tell old people they're next.
22. Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
24. When does a joke become a dad joke? When it leaves you and never comes back.
31. My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. So I unplugged his life support.
The cancer patient asked the doctor how many more months he had to live. The doctor replied, "Tu-more."
"I hope my death would make more sense than my life."- Joker
I saw a kid crying, so I asked them where their parents were.
God, I love working at an orphanage!
Why can't you fool an aborted fetus?
Because it wasn't born yesterday.
What's worse than 10 babies is one dumpster...
1 baby in 10 dumpsters.
If they made a movie about your sex life, what would it be?
In Afghanistan, it would be "Twelve Years a Slave!" 🤣
Life is a lot like a penis. It's relaxed, and just hanging there.
It's women that make it hard.
(To a thief) If you like taking things, how about you take my life?
What do you call a disabled kid who is blind?
A grape chilli bean.
Did you hear about the person who died? I would tell you about him, but he died.
Lol, I have no life :)
What’s an orphan's favorite food?
: Not home food.