Life jokes
Why did the emo kid try [to] high five the tree?
So it can hang him.
Why do orphans not tell when they get hit?
Because who are they gonna tell, their mom?
(amazing pick up line) Yoo, what if we got matching tattoos? You get two towers and I get a plane, because I crashed right into your life!
"Go big or go home," that’s what some people say.
"Go loud and proud," that’s what other people say.
"Go out with a big, loud bang!" that’s what I say.
What if plants are farming us, giving us oxygen until we die, and turn into natural fertilizer which helps them?
Memes
run runnnnnnn
When I go to weddings, old people will tell me I'm next, but when I go to funerals, I tell old people they're next.
My grandfather says I’m too reliant on technology. I call him a hypocrite and unplug his life support. 😄😆🔥👍
Sister: Hey sis, how are you today?
Me: Oh, good, you?
Sister: Good, 'cause I heard you finally got a good living life.
Dad: Come on, David, go dress up like a girl.
David: Isn't that illegal?
Dad: Nah, it isn't illegal if you keep the buttons in.
David: I hate my life.
Beast joke ever: my life... Oh wait, I don't have one.
I hate my birthday. For my first birthday my mom gave me my life. I liked it when it was new and fun. Now it's broken and sad and I wanna take it back.
Life's full of ups and downs :D <3
If a baby dies in the womb, is it considered suicide?
22. Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
24. When does a joke become a dad joke? When it leaves you and never comes back.
31. My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. So I unplugged his life support.
The cancer patient asked the doctor how many more months he had to live. The doctor replied, "Tu-more."
Why can't you fool an aborted fetus?
Because it wasn't born yesterday.
I saw a kid crying, so I asked them where their parents were.
God, I love working at an orphanage!
"I hope my death would make more sense than my life."- Joker
(To a thief) If you like taking things, how about you take my life?
Did you hear about the person who died? I would tell you about him, but he died.