Life jokes

Me: "Hey, are your parents home?"

Orphan: "Stop calling here!"

Me in the corner.

What's the difference between an orphan and a baby?

The orphan gets back up.

Why is the last part of orphanage "age?"

Because it doesn't matter your age.

Why do orphans not tell when they get hit?

Because who are they gonna tell, their mom?

What's a plus side to being an orphan?

Every bag of chips is family size. T - T

Why did the emo kid try [to] high five the tree?

So it can hang him.

I heard that the numbers on the front of your credit card represent the number of minutes until you meet the 💕 love of your life!💕

And the 3 numbers on the back represent the month and day you make it official!!

Comment those numbers to lock it in!!😄

My grandfather says I’m too reliant on technology. I call him a hypocrite and unplug his life support. 😄😆🔥👍

Sister: Hey sis, how are you today?

Me: Oh, good, you?

Sister: Good, 'cause I heard you finally got a good living life.

Dad: Come on, David, go dress up like a girl.

David: Isn't that illegal?

Dad: Nah, it isn't illegal if you keep the buttons in.

David: I hate my life.

Beast joke ever: my life... Oh wait, I don't have one.

I hate my birthday. For my first birthday my mom gave me my life. I liked it when it was new and fun. Now it's broken and sad and I wanna take it back.

A man asked another man if he was happy with his marriage. He replied, "Yes, I'm very happy. We go on date night every week." The other man asked, "When?" He goes on Wednesday and I go on Thursday.

I have a joke about death.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the other side.

Think about it :)

When I go to weddings, old people will tell me I'm next, but when I go to funerals, I tell old people they're next.

Life's full of ups and downs :D <3

If a baby dies in the womb, is it considered suicide?

22. Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

24. When does a joke become a dad joke? When it leaves you and never comes back.

31. My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. So I unplugged his life support.

The cancer patient asked the doctor how many more months he had to live. The doctor replied, "Tu-more."

I saw a kid crying, so I asked them where their parents were.

God, I love working at an orphanage!