Life jokes
When you say to your dad...
AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Dad be like...
Who wants my son?
Nan be like, "Me!"
Kid be like...
AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH GIVE ME #### ROUX!
What are roux, says nan?
Um, they're your life savings!
Nan be like, "Let's get some roux!"
What's the best cure for aging? Suicide.
Black lives matter.
You wanna know who didn't kick the bucket? Stephen Hawking didn't; nor did he bite the dust.
My screen lock is my favorite picture of my wife. When I'm on a 14-hour shift, being miserable, hating my life... I pull out my phone and gaze at the picture of my wife. Then I realize it's better here than at home with her ass.
Everyone says Kenny has an easy life.
I disagree. I hear his mom likes complicated sex positions.
What's the difference between a prisoner and an orphan?
One is loved.
"PENIS WAIT WHAT OENIS SUCK MINE DADDY?" Sorry, you are an orphan.
I don’t see why people say that emo kids don’t like to hangout. I seen them hanging all day.
I was playing hangman, and I gave up on the word "LIFE".
What food has an orphan made?
Homemade food.
What hit the floor first, the emo or the apple? The apple, the rope stopped the emo.
Died and came back a cowboy, I call that reintarnation.
What's the easiest way to make a glow worm happy? Cut off its tail—it'll be delighted!
Why do orphans live on the street?
They don't have parents to put a roof over their head.
There was a man in a wheelchair, and he got knocked out in front of a bus. He had a wheelie good life!
"Ho, ho, ho, what do you want for Christmas, little boy? Longer than two months to live."
He never has a bad day because he always wakes up on both sides of the bed.
Being an orphan isn’t all bad.
On the bright side, all your snacks are family sized.
Does anyone else just want to die, or is it just me?