Life jokes
Daughter: So, I got my period.
Mom: That's wonderful, dear! Now you can bleed for a whole week a month without dying!
Daughter: That's nice, Mum, but isn't the whole point of getting your period dying?
Mom: Yes, but you have to kill yourself a little longer to live through to another day.
Daughter: Thanks, Mum. That makes a whole lot of sense. (Sarcastically.)
Mom: You're welcome, honey. (Clueless, obviously.)
My grandpa is an asshole. The fucker deserved to die. The son of a bitch was using his life support, and I needed to change my iPhone.
When you think you can’t fail anymore if you’re dead, then you fail at suiciding.
They say we will have eternal life when Jesus is no longer coming.
Me: Are you an orphan?
Orphan: Yes, what gave me away?
Me: Your parents.
A computer is like a living organism. Its charger is its life support. If you "pull the plug," you are letting it slowly die.
Which one will fall from the tree first, the leaves or the emo?
The emo doesn't fall.
Like this if you have ever had a family member die.
Hey guys, can we stop making these jokes? If my mom sees this, I will never see the sun again.
Oh . . .
:(
Continue.
What's the difference between a baby and a ball?
If you inflate the ball, it won't explode.
Why was the dog so stressed out?
It had a ruff day.
Why can’t a tree have sex? They are always tied up.
My joke is about Archer, riddles, sex life. Wait, sorry, there is none.
Thanks for reading Archer’s love life story.
I hope death is a girl. That way, it'll never come for me.
I got written up on "Take Your Daughter To Work Day." Apparently, it only applies to daughters who are alive.
Life's a bitch, and then you die. I now see what they mean.
What's the difference between an orphan and a toy?
One is played with.
Q: Why can’t orphans play baseball?
A: 'Cause they can’t get back to home.
Why did the crumb cake isolate himself? He had a crumbling social life.
A joke: my life, hahahahaha! Wait, it's not funny.