Life Jokes

1.) What’s Yellow And Can’t Swim? - A Bus Full Of Children 2.) Did you hear bout the pilsbury dough boy? - he died of a yeast infection 3.) I will never forget my grandads last words... - “you’re still holding the ladder right?” 4.) I have a fish that can breakdance... - only for 20 seconds though, and only once 5.) give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours... - lite a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life

I dont trust anything that bleeds for more than 5 days and is still alive

If you give Kobe Bryant a cigarette he will be warm for a short time, But he was set on fire in the helicopter crash so now he's warm for the rest of his life.

You Could Hold Your Breath for the Rest of Your Life ***Think about it.***

my mom told me to unplug all the electronics so i unplugged my grandma Life Support

Fruit is like life. You slowly eat it away as it slowly also begins to rot like everyone I’ve known.

-->[]life death[]<--

Give a man a potato, he is full for a day Give a man a poisoned potato, hell be full for the rest of his life.

The pinnacle of loyalty is that an ant married an elephant, and after he died, she spent her entire life burying him :)

Did you hear about the young man who brought floral arrangements in the shape of a life jacket on his friend’s funeral who drowned last week? Everyone was furious but he explained, “It’s what he would have wanted.”

Roses are red, Violets are blue, When life gets tough, I'll stand by you.

At one point in your life, you were exactly pi years old.

What did one ghost say to the other?

Get a life!

tell the person next to spell "me". When they do, say, "you forgot the D". They should respond with, "There is no D in ME." You say, "not yet". if this does not go as planned, well, then you are fucked for life.