Life jokes
(amazing pick up line) Yoo, what if we got matching tattoos? You get two towers and I get a plane, because I crashed right into your life!
What do you do when life gives you lemons? Slit your wrist and give a lemon a twist. 🙂💊💉
🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦁🦁🦁🐩🐖🐒🐷🐵🐎+/;!¥/%? Fuckfuckfuuk of your own is also a joke about your relationship with Google and Twitter users who don't know what they think of their own personal life, and the way they have been involved since the last few years of debate is the only thing.
What is the difference between a dead baby and an orphan?
The dead baby happened on purpose while the orphan came out as an accident!
If you could add one zero to any number for the rest of your life, what would it be and why?
This definitely works
Shut the f*** up, I am an orphan!
What is something that makes you wish you were dead, rips your skin off, is small, can wear you out in two seconds, betray you in any way possible, and can eat you alive?
Kid's.
What is the difference between a prisoner and an orphan?
One of them is wanted.
How are wet clothes and a depressed person alike? One gets hung up to dry, the other gets hung up to die.
Never kill an orphan, because then that will end their misery.
I bought myself the life-sized Jesus painting off of Amazon, and they had 4 nails within the pack. All I needed was 1.
A man goes to the doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world.
Doctor says: "Treatment is simple. The great clown - Pagliacci - is in town. Go see him. That should pick you up."
Man bursts into tears, says "But doctor... I am Pagliacci."
What do orphans and apples have in common?
Only one gets picked.
What goes up but never comes down?
I wouldn't call a Suicide Help-line even if my life depended on it.
I just gotta come out and say it: I like miners, and I don’t care what y’all think. I mean the fact that they are risking their lives just to make ours a little easier is amazing. I’ve always wanted to marry one, to be honest. Y’all need to give more respect to the mining ⛏ community.
My life #freemymanrkelly
Friend: What goes up but not down?
You: Your age.
What's My Favorite Thing About My Grandpa?
His life insurance...
Louie's parents tried this.