Life jokes
What is a neonatal's first time in the world?
Wanna hear a funny joke? Well, that was why you were here... Here's the joke: Your life :)
Have a great day today!
Why did the cliff feel offended?
Because George jumped OFF. ENDED his life.
(I'm sorry... No, I'm not!)
Get a fucking life, you horny bastards!
Hi, how are you? Busy, busy today, and I have to...
What is the definition of a woman?
A life support system for a vagina.
If being ugly was a crime, you would get a life sentence.
Don't say your life is a joke because jokes have meaning.
Do not tell an orphan family meeting; they wouldn't get it.
People were talking and asking what's the worst day of the year for them.
Person 1: "The first day of school because I don't like going to school."
Person 2: "Valentine's day because it's too lovey."
Me: "Oh nice, mine is my birthday because it's when I was born."
Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end, the faster it goes, and everyone is trying to shit on ya.
I am really hot, but I hate water. What am I?
I woke up this morning thinking it was gonna be a great day. But then I realized I was still alive.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
He was just feeling like he needed a break, you know? Life is hard when you're a rooster looking after your hen and chicks. He just wanted a sense of normality, walking out of the farm. He felt light-headed, staring into the distance. Then, at this very moment, he realised it was his darkest hour.
Join us for more of the story, after the break!
Q: What is the difference between a dead body and an orphan?
A: The dead body had a family.
Why did the baby cross the road? Because he wanted to die.
Kid goes to the kitchen.
Mom: What are you doing here?
Kid: Just checking out the knife.
Mom: So you've chosen death.
In what ways do nuns and hoes have something in common?
They both worship on their knees. They are both creatures of habit. They both take vows of poverty and obedience. Once chosen, neither can leave the life. They both swallow their hosts.
What's an orphan's least favorite joke?
... YO MAMA SOO, Oh wait...