Life jokes
Me: I’m gonna smite the life out of you!!!
Orphan: What! No! Please no!
Me: What you gonna do? Run home and tell your parents? Wait, I forgot, you don’t have a home or parents!!!!
Your life, that's all.
You will never have a girlfriend.
What do my clothes and a depressed person not have in common?
My clothes don't hang themselves...
Q: What season can an orphan see their family tree?
A: Fall.
If you don't get it, in the fall trees have no leaves, there [are] just empty branches, like an orphan's tree.
What does an orphan call home?
Nothing. 🤣
He: I am 60 and I have to slog 12 hours a day to make a living. Do you call it life?
She: I am 28 and still a virgin, do you call it life?
Why doesn't the orphan date the girl?
Because she is a home-y.
The difference between my life and a joke is that a joke has meaning.
We are always joking around about being adopted, when really we are still living in the orphanage.
Rape jokes aren’t funny!!! And definitely not something to joke about, what’s wrong with ppl, like seriously what a world we live in. This is sick!
What's a depressed person's least favorite type of cereal?
LIFE.
Friend: If you could get rid of any one person in your life, who would it be?
Me: Me.
Friend: *does nothing*
(x_x)
I forgot that I don't have friends.
A chair came to life and said, "I'm alive!"
I said, "Yes, I know I am."
Your life. That's all.
What are you good at?
Dying. Dammit, I fail at that too.
My therapist said to try having a different outlook on life.
I agree. I should have a different outlook on life. Preferably from underground.
I tried to calculate 3/(my life), and I kept getting zero.
I've looked everywhere... I just can't seem to find where I left my will to live.
Advertisement: "What's in your wallet?"
Me: "The same amount of money as there is my will to live... ;_)"