Life jokes
My social life.
What's sad and has no life? The person reading this.
I air.
How can you make a orphans hand bleed?
Real them to clap until there parent come home.
A penis has a sad life.
His hair is a mess.
His family is nuts.
His neighbor is an asshole.
His best friend is a pussy.
And his owner beats him.
Why did the orphan run into the street? To get to the other side of life.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He ran out of battery life.
Fruit is like life. You slowly eat it away as it slowly also begins to rot like everyone I’ve known.
After a long labor, a doctor approaches the new mother and says, “Ma’am, I’ve got some good news and some bad news. What would you like?” After quickly thinking it over, she responds, “I’ll have the bad news first, doctor.”
The doctor replies, “Well, I’m not sure how to put this, and I’m sorry to have to tell you, your child has red hair.”
Relieved, a smile spreads across the mother’s face. “Doctor, if that’s the bad news, what’s the good news?” The doctor replies, “He’s dead.”
"Hi, my name is Robert. I have no life. Even my PS4 username is gay lil_bama."
Why did the turtle cross the road?
We don't know yet.
OOF dislike plz I have no life XD.
All of these jokes are DED sub to pewdipie.
My father said I'm too reliant on technology.
I called him a hypocrite, and unplugged his life support.
I was born yesterday, and I walked down memory lane. I fell over the edge!
What do you call a dead human?
A DEAD HUMAN! HAHAHahahah ha.. ha.. ha Am I the only one laughing?
You wanna know who didn't kick the bucket? Stephen Hawking didn't; nor did he bite the dust.
I like plants, but then I decided to turn over a new leaf and branch out.
Depression, I got it.
A girlfriend, don't got it.
A life, don't got it.
Help, got it.
Friends, don't got it.
Family, I got it.
Best of all, depression, I got it!!!!!!
Sam is a kindergartener. One day, Sam’s teacher told him to learn the first few letters of the alphabet. Later that night, Sam asked his moody sister what the first letter of the alphabet was, and she replied with “Oh, what’s the point. Life is meaningless...”.
Sam then went up to his room and found his brother crying on the floor. Sam asked him what the next letter was. “I hate you!” said Sam’s brother, so Sam left the room. Sam went to his mom and asked her what the third letter was. “You stupid f*****,” his mom yelled at him. So Sam went to ask his Grandpa what the fourth letter is, and his grandpa didn’t reply, so Sam went to bed.
The next day, Sam’s teacher called on him to tell the class what the first letter is, and he answered with “Oh, what’s the point. Life is meaningless...” and the teacher sent him to the school counselor. As he left the room, he yelled at his teacher “I hate you!”
As Sam arrived at the counselor’s office, she said she had called his parents and they wanted him to be safe and locked up in a padded cell. “You stupid f*****,” Sam screamed as he heard the ambulance sirens getting nearer. As the ambulance drove away, Sam, in his straight jacket, was silent.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
My life.
My life who?
My life is depressing...
It ain't always having erectile dysfunction, but it sure as hell ain't hard.