LGBTQ jokes
What is a gay man's favorite job?
A blowjob.
What do you call a gay drive by?
A fruit roll up.
TASTE THE RAINBOW BITCH!!!
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
I think one of my dads might be gay.
What do gay people and mice have in common?
They both hate pussy cats!
Why can't gay people have hairlines? Because it's not straight.
What's a homo's favorite planet?
Uranus.
What do you call a fart in a gay bar?
A mating call.
A police officer writes a ticket for a car not being parked correctly. The driver asks why. When he realizes he is parked poorly, he responds, "Oh. I'm terribly sorry. You see, I'm so gay I can't even park straight."
Why can’t orphans be gay?
Because they don’t have anybody to call “daddy.”
What shoe shop would be a lesbian's best friend, decimen?
I have a trans friend.
He is in a polyamorous relationship and would be straight if they had a dick.
If you're gay, then what the f*** are you doing trying to walk straight?
What’s the best kind of candy to offer at a Pride parade?
Skittles.
Q: How do you fit 4 gay men on a bar stool?
A: Flip the chair upside down.
I'm gay, lol.
A man walks into a bar and orders three shots. "Long day?" the bartender asks. "Well... My oldest son just came out..." The man finishes the shots and leaves the bar. The next day, the man comes back and orders four shots. "What now?" the bartender asks. "My middle son just came out." The man finishes his drinks and leaves. He comes back the next day and orders five shots. "Again?" the bartender asks. "Yeah. My youngest son." He drinks his shots and leaves. The next day, he comes in again. This time, he orders ten shots. "My God! Is there anyone in your family that likes girls??" the bartender asks. "Yeah... My wife."
So, is a homosexual in a coma a fruit or a vegetable?
I bought a rainbow gun, but for some reason it doesn’t shoot straight.
What do you call a gay drive-by?
A fruit roll up.