What did they give Elmo before he left the factory. Two test-tickles
Mario:Princess Peach got kidnapped again! Luigi:Where did they go? Mario:To the left Luigi:Fuck
You look like a double dipped chocolate chip cliff flipped glazed charcoal slim jim Mr. clog hunch frap no feet 9 arms 17 stomachs you stepdad beat you with a wiffle ball bat NBA youngboy was in your bathroom spitting on you and now you got herpes on your left side cheek
what did they poo say to the ass i left you
Kid: who is your mom Orphan: they left meš
My wife left a note on the fridge that said, āThis isnāt working.ā Iām not sure what sheās talking about. I opened the fridge door and itās working fine!
I can't believe the suicide hotline put my cousin on hold. They left him hanging
Why did the caretaker of the twin towers get sacked?
He left the landing lights on
whats steven hawkings favourite meal? his left shoulder
I gave a tree a high five, but sadly it left me hanging.
Man with cancer: How much time do I have left? Doctor: Ten. Man: Weeks? Months? Days? Doctor Nine, eight, seven...
I was at work and then a little kid came up to me and she said āwhat happened to all the parents?ā She sounded so confused so i told her āits only yours kid, they left you on purposeā she cried i felt bad for a second and the thought oh well time to back to my job at the orphanage
Last night i shared a bed with two of my friends because we were in a small hotel, We had strange dreams last night.
My friend on the left dreamed of getting a hand-job So did my friend on the right
I had a dream of skiing.
A guy is sitting in a bar, feeling sad. "What's the matter?" asks the bartender.
"My paternal uncle died three months ago."
"Wow! No wonder you're sad!"
"It's not that. He left me a third of his estate."
"Then what's the matter?"
"My maternal uncle died two months ago."
"Two uncles in two months? No wonder you're sad!"
"It's not that either. He left me half of his estate."
"Then what's the matter?"
"My father died last month."
"Your dad too? No wonder you're sad!"
"It's not that. He left me his entire estate."
"Then what's the matter?"
With a massive sob, the guy says, "None of my relatives died this month!"
Oooh, I fall apart Oooh, yeah, mmhmm She told me that I'm not enough, yeah And she left me with a broken heart, yeah She fooled me twice and it's all my fault, yeah She cut too deep, now she left me scarred, yeah Now there's too many thoughts goin' through my brain, yeah And now I'm takin' these shots like it's Novocaine, yeah Oooh, I fall apart Down to my core Oooh, I fall apart Down to my core Oooh, didn't know it before Surprised when you caught me off guard All this damn jewelry I bought You was my shorty, I thought Never caught a feelin' this hard Harder than the liquor I pour Tell me you don't want me no more But I can't let go Everybody told me so Feelin' like I sold my soul Devil in the form of a whore Devil in the form of a whore You said it No, you said it No, you said it We'd be together Oooh, I fall apart Down to my core Oooh, I fall apart Down to my core Oooh, didn't know it before Surprised when you caught me off guard All this damn jewelry I bought You was my shorty, I thought Ice keep pourin' and the drink keep flowin' Try to brush it off but it keep on goin' Covered in scars and I can't help showin' Whippin' in the foreign and the tears keep blowin' Ice keep droppin' and the drink keep flowin' Try to brush it off but it keep on goin' All these scars, can't help from showin' Whippin' in the foreign and the tears keep blowin', yeah Oooh, I fall apart Down to my core Oooh, I fall apart Down to my core Oooh, didn't know it before Surprised when you caught me off guard All this damn jewelry I bought You was my shorty, I thought
some jokes are best left not harassed by those who are offended by them. for I have everyone's ip address.
who left him hanging
no matter how much i cry the the white people till left me hanging
I see a kid crying in the park right. So I go up to him and say " hey where are your parants" and he says "well my dad left to get the milk and never came back and my mother died in a plane crash in the Bermuda triangle
Friend: hi orphan Orphan: tell me a yo mamma joke Friend: ummm Orphan: exactly U can't Friend: yo mamma so disappointed she left
