Leave jokes

I hate when people leave their cars running, especially in the summer.

I'm like, "You got Tracy Latimer in there or something?"

I wanted to take a bath, but decided to leave it where it is.

Why didn’t the grape 🍇 leave her family?

Because she loved raisin' kids!

Your mom is so fat Buzz Lightyear had to say "To infinity to beyond" to leave her house.

Just burned 2,000 calories. That's the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.

Random guy: Come on, Bin Laden, time is ticking. Get it, ticking. OK, I'll leave.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Golly.

Golly who?

Godly leave me alone!

What did Pennywise become after LEAVING the circus? Ex-IT.

Leaving for Disneyland! See you guys on Tuesday!

Why don't humans eat raw meat? Because they use technology to cry about raw meat is good. Go and leave, bro, I'm going to eat sushi.

STORY OF 2 PEOPLE NOT ME:

Girlfriend: What would you do if I won the lottery?

Boyfriend: I would take half and leave you.

Girlfriend: Ok cool. I won 12 dollars here's 6 and don't come back.

Your hairline goes so far back your dad didn't leave.

Imagine you ask a girl out in braille.

And she leaves you on felt.

What is red, orange, and yellow but doesn’t feel anything when it falls? Autumn leaves. 🍁

Me and my emo group were walking down to the tree and somebody yelled, "Don't leave me!"

Me: Where's your mom?

Kid: [cries]

Me: [leaving from the adoption center]

What's the best way to tell your friend you hate them? Option 1: Kill them. Option 2: Walk away. Option 3: Kill each other.

Me: Why can't I just kms and leave them the pain?

Don't ever try to give an emo kid a high five. They'll just leave you hanging.

Peter: Curses!

Jacob: Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?

Peter: *Crying*

Jacob: Why are you crying?

Jacob: Whatever. *Leaves orphanage*

Akeld, just want you to know: Leave me and Gwen alone.

Real me.