Leave

Leave jokes

Ice Cream

Why did the grandpa leave the house to go to the grocery store?

To get the ice cream for the grandma.

Face

Ugly face dude: Hi kiddo!

Kid: Hi kid. Leaves.

Kid turns back and says: Wait a minute, who are you?

Request

This is not a joke, Tom. I'm asking you to leave me alone, stop being sexual, I don't like you.

Memes

Vegetable

Today I went to get a sub, and they asked me if I wanted all vegetables. I said no, leave some for the rest of the customers.

Cell phone

Warning! Cringe Alert!

What happens when you leave your phone at jail?

It becomes a cell phone.

Dad

Why did my dad leave me and my mum?

I told him it wasn't big enough and then ran off saying, "Daddy, yeeeees!"

Leaf

Alright, I'm gonna make like a tree and leaf.

*****You have to leave right after you tell this joke.****

Grape

Why didn’t the grape 🍇 leave her family?

Because she loved raisin' kids!

Mom

Your mom is so fat Buzz Lightyear had to say "To infinity to beyond" to leave her house.

Car

I hate when people leave their cars running, especially in the summer.

I'm like, "You got Tracy Latimer in there or something?"

Bath

I wanted to take a bath, but decided to leave it where it is.

Hitler

My history teacher asked my class what time they would go back to just to see what happened.

I said I'd go back to Hitler's childhood to tell him the lies that he becomes the ruler of the world by starting the Nazis, and leave his death out of the discussion.

Goodbye

Palestinians leave without saying goodbye.

Israel says goodbye when the Americans say so.