For Charlie D'Amelio fans, my basement is your home now. Leave a like if you agree with me.
Leave Jokes
My girlfriend left me today for spending my own money. What a bitch! I spend a fair amount of money on her for her clothes and Air Force Ones, but as soon as I spend $100 on hookers, she leaves me.
Yo mama so fat, she went to the moon without leaving Earth.
Before you leave that marriage, remember that one innocent 🐐 goat was killed for your traditional marriage. 😔
Which one will fall from the tree first, the leaves or the emo?
The emo doesn't fall.
Your children grew up faster than it took you to leave for the milk.
Did you leave your hairline at the airplane, because it's going up?
Why did the emo kid leave the food on the table?
It was the Happy Meal.
How do you surprise a blind man?
Leave the plunger in the toilet.
(Kids Doing A Science Project.) Kid 1: Did you bring Uranus?
Kid 2: Never leave home without it.
Jordan, you stupid ass! Addison never bothered you so leave her the FUCK alone! How about this? Get up, go outside, stop being a jackass, and get a fucking life!
Why did the boy leave his chestnuts in the rain?
He wanted them rusted.
Why can’t you trust an emo kid?
'Cause they always leave you hanging.
Be grateful:
You're missing work today because in the past, someone cared enough to leave that banana peel on the stairs.
What's a similarity between Harvey Weinstein's pants and American bombs?
They both drop unannounced and leave mass casualties.
What did the llama say when the villagers said that he had to leave the village?
"Alpaca my bags."
If you text your crush and they leave you on read, just know that "read" has four letters. You know what also has four letters? "Mine." So that basically means that you are theirs. :)
Why did the rapper bring a dictionary to the party?
To leave everyone SPEECHLESS!
A man and a giraffe walk into a bar. The man orders a beer, one for him and one for the giraffe.
After they finish their drinks, the giraffe falls over, and the man gets his stuff and heads for the door.
The bartender says, "Stop! You can't leave that thing lying on the floor!"
The man says, "Mate, that's not a lion, it's a giraffe."
A Chinese drunk and a Jewish drunk are sitting together on a park bench.
After finishing his drink, the Jew takes his bottle and smashes it over the head of the Chinese drunk.
"What the hell was that for?" asks the Chinese man, rubbing his head.
"That was for Pearl Harbor!" replies the Jewish drunk.
"Pearl Harbor? That was the Japanese! I'm Chinese!" he exclaims in return.
"Eh, Chinese, Japanese, Korean... you're all the same to me," the Jewish man explains as he gets up to leave.
The next day, the two drunks are back on the same park bench. The Chinese drunk suddenly takes his bottle and smashes it over the head of the Jew.
"Why the hell did you do that?" the Jewish man stammers.
"That was for the Titanic!" explains the Chinese drunk.
"The Titanic? What are you talking about? No one attacked it, it sunk when it hit an iceberg!" the Jew replies.
"Eh, Iceberg, Goldberg, Greenberg... you're all the same to me," the Chinese drunk happily retorts.