Leave jokes
A cowboy rides into a ranch on Sunday, stays three days, and leaves on Friday. How is this possible?
Guy 1: Why is my cat so angry?
Guy 2: Because she wants to eat your big sausage.
Guy 1: Don't you?
Guy 2: Yeah, it seems delicious.
Guy 1: Mmm, so... w-wait what are you doing? I didn't think you meant the one in my lunch :< Where are you leaving #_#
**Meow...**
Guy 1: Shut up, I will never feed you this sausage. It's not for you :< -_- </3
I should probably stop making jokes about bulimia. They just leave a bad taste in my mouth.
What did the llama say when the villagers said that he had to leave the village?
"Alpaca my bags."
If you text your crush and they leave you on read, just know that "read" has four letters. You know what also has four letters? "Mine." So that basically means that you are theirs. :)
Memes
Why did the rapper bring a dictionary to the party?
To leave everyone SPEECHLESS!
What do you call a disabled person that has no legs and likes being alone?
Leaving, walking.
How do you surprise a blind man?
Leave the plunger in the toilet.
Why did the emo kid leave the food on the table?
It was the Happy Meal.
My girlfriend left me today for spending my own money. What a bitch! I spend a fair amount of money on her for her clothes and Air Force Ones, but as soon as I spend $100 on hookers, she leaves me.
For Charlie D'Amelio fans, my basement is your home now. Leave a like if you agree with me.
The department of touch yourself is coming to the UK near you. I hope Scotland gets freedom. I can't wait to leave England and live in Scotland.
Fineman, Einstein, and Schrodinger walked into a bar.
Fineman says, "It appears we're inside a joke."
Einstein says, "But only to an observer who saw us walk in simultaneously."
To which Schrodinger says, "If someone's looking through the window, I'm leaving!"
There are only women's rights causes because they leave you.
There was an exam music quiz question about Gary Glitter. Now, if there's anyone you don't want to associate with the phrase "shh, turn over, you've got an hour," it's him.
Shit, my bad. I should leave him alone, he just wants to settle down and have kids.
Before you leave that marriage, remember that one innocent 🐐 goat was killed for your traditional marriage. 😔
Yo mama so fat, she went to the moon without leaving Earth.
Which one will fall from the tree first, the leaves or the emo?
The emo doesn't fall.
Did you leave your hairline at the airplane, because it's going up?
Your children grew up faster than it took you to leave for the milk.