Leave jokes
You're so poor, people break into your house and leave things.
There's an orphan in my class... For some reason, he never leaves.
My girlfriend told me she was leaving me because I keep pretending to be a Transformer. I said, "No, wait! I can change."
Why did Stephen Hawking's wife leave him? She was sick of buying triple A batteries.
Why did the orphan not have a girlfriend?
Because he thought that she would leave him too.
A cowboy rides into a ranch on Sunday, stays three days, and leaves on Friday. How is this possible?
I searched up hornets and then said that it will leave a sting.
I hope when I inevitably choke to death on gummy bears, people just say I was killed by bears and leave it at that.
My friend had this annoying little kid that always used to yell and scream when he didn't get what he wanted. I told my friend there's a new attraction a few states away he could take him to.
Confused, my friend asked me what it was. I told him, "The Sandy Hook Experience: Where you come in and leave with a 'hole' lot of fun."
Women should be allowed to leave the kitchen... to clean the rest of the house.
Guy 1: Why is my cat so angry?
Guy 2: Because she wants to eat your big sausage.
Guy 1: Don't you?
Guy 2: Yeah, it seems delicious.
Guy 1: Mmm, so... w-wait what are you doing? I didn't think you meant the one in my lunch :< Where are you leaving #_#
**Meow...**
Guy 1: Shut up, I will never feed you this sausage. It's not for you :< -_- </3
I had a friend named Mari. Sadly, she did drugs.
So one day I go up to her and say, “Mari-juana do this???” She later asked me to leave forever... I don’t gnome why, but... it CRACKed me up a bit!!!
What do you call a penguin in the desert?
Lost!!!!!!! Hahahaha. Banta everyone on this site has 0 life and should leave.
Why can't depressed people leave the maze?
Because their lives are the walls and they are too scared to meet the exit.
What's a similarity between a cliff hanger and nooses?
They both leave you hanging.
People at my school have started to wear Logan Paul merch. I try to give them a high five, but they always leave me hanging.
Son: Hi Dad, I'm Son.
Dad: Hi Son, I'm Leaving You.
Years later:
Dad still did not come back.
What's the difference between your mom and your dad? One leaves your life to go get milk, and the other cleans up after you, feeds you, and does your laundry.
Why did the electron leave the atom?
Because it wanted to be Argon.
Why did the electron leave the atom?
Because it had its ion someone else.