People at my school have started to wear Logan Paul merch. I try to give them a high five, but they always leave me hanging.
Son: Hi Dad, I'm Son Dad: Hi Son, I'm Leaving You
Years later: Dad still did not come back
What's the difference between your mom and your dad? One leaves your life to go get milk, and the other cleans up after you, feeds you, and does your laundry.
Why did the electron leave the atom?
Because it wanted to be Argon.
Why did the electron leave the atom?
Because it had its ion someone else.
When the school shooter is just about to leave your classroom, and you think you're in the clear, but the Down syndrome kid says, "Goodbye."
This guy walked into a pizzeria and ordered a water. The owner called him an idiot.
His girlfriend walked in and ordered a pineapple pizza.
The guy left her and the owner made her leave.
A couple is sitting down, holding hands, and having a picnic after their wedding when the husband's friend walks over and says,
"Jenny and Jonathan sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes abrupt, tragic miscarriage! Then comes blame. Then comes despair, two hearts damaged, beyond repair. Johnathan leaves Jenny, and writes on the tree: D-I-V-O-R-C-E."
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because the chicken had 4 chicks and a cheating hen who all sucked out all his money he got from his extremely boring job, and he finally got some peace for himself and was going to the local bar, which was on the other side of the road.
He walked in the door, wings sagging, feathers catching on his claws. The bartender eyes him as he sits on a bar stool. "Chuck, how ya doin'? The missus doin' good?"
"Just give me the hardest stuff you got. I'm done."
This caught the bartender by surprise. "Chuck, come on, don't be sayin' that. Just look to the future and you'll be fine."
"What future?" Chuck replied in a huff. "My wife and chicks are so goddamn pestering sometimes, you know? But if I leave, they'll all suffer, and I don't want that either. Oh, God, Phil, I don't know what to do."
"You know, you've got a good heart for a rooster your age," Phil answered. "We need that in these parts. I'm tellin' ya, there will be more than what's happenin' right now, ya know, life's got all its gears turning for ya, and there's just a bit slow right now. The gears haven't been oiled in a while, but who's the only one who can fix that?"
Chuck knew the answer. "Me."
Phil returned with his drink. "McClucken's Whiskey, on the house."
Chuck glanced at his glass. He held it up to the light. His face reflected in an aura around it, neither looking forward to the light and not backward, either.
"No thanks, Phil," Chuck sighed, "But thanks anyways."
He went to get up out of his chair. Phil called as he walked out the door, "Just remember to oil the gears every now and then, eh?"
Chuck's comb flapped in a cool breeze brought in by the season. A bench was nearby, staring across to the other side. And he just sat there, sat there thinking. Cars blurred to a colorfully colorless nothingness as he thought in silence.
He could see an open window in his mind, full of chickens: a sassy hen, two identical sportish chick; another, older than the two, and body bristling with blue comb-dye and the latest thing he watched online fresh on his Chickstagram page; finally, the first of the bunch, shy, bookish, with a secretly courageous soul. They all looked... worried, worried for the rooster who guided them, helped them grow, supported them... and all looking out of the window back at him.
A single tear welled in Chuck's eye.
The chicken walked back across the road to his family, to his friends, and to the life he was content with.
How do you leave an idiot in suspense - ill tell you tomorrow
You should never leave a man hanging.
Unless they are still alive..
Don't leave us hanging, Sayori.
a student was peeking in on a 10/10 chick and the guy was about to nut. the school shooter patted his back and told him to leave his corpses alone
What's the difference between my dad and cancer? Cancer doesn't leave you.
My dad told me to do what he did best, so I left.
A wife decided to leave for a vacation, leaving her husband in supervision of her mother and her cat. After a few days, she called her husband and asked, “How is everything going?”
He responded with, “The cat is dead.”
She cried out and said, “Why couldn’t you have broken the news slowly? You could have said the cat is playing on the roof or on the first day, and the next say it broke its leg, then the next that the poor thing's dead! Anyways, how’s my mom?”
“She’s playing on the roof.”
If you were on the Titanic and you didn't leave the ship, what would you do? Just let that sink in.
A Boy asked his Dad : « Why didn’t you make love with my mom daddy ? » Dad : « Because I’m gay »
*Son started making out with his daddy and sucking his daddy’s big peepee*
Son : « W- Wait a minute.. So how did i exist if you didn’t make love with my mom if you’re not straight ? » Dad : « Because you are not real and i didn’t even have a wife »
The Son Waked Up from his horrible nightmare And He looked so scared, he did leave his bed to check out his dad but he didn’t find his dad, until his dad entered the house and he said to his son : « Why you did look so worried I’m just bringing some food for breakfast » Son : « Well but why your hands is full of cum ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) » Dad : « Because i did it with you last night i did you forgot .. » Son : « But it was a nightmare .. »
*Dad turns into a monster*
Dad : « I’m your nightmare »
The Son waked up and he seemed too scared and he found himself beside his dad torturing him after he discovered he’s gay.
The Son with himself: « Wake up b*tch wake up b*tch !!!!!! »
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
A horse walks into a bar. Several people get up and leave, realizing the potential danger in the situation.
Why are most firefighters men? Because they like to find hot places and leave them wet.
