Laziness jokes

There was a very lazy person. He saw a banana peel in front of him while he was walking... and he said: “Oh God, protect me from falling!”

Yo mama is so lazy that the only letters she knows are "NO".

I'm too lazy to read gags. http://gestyy.com/eiDOWp

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

Because he was part of the Lazy Bones team!

If laziness was an Olympic sport, I'd come in fourth so I wouldn't have to walk up to the podium.

I have a joke about lazy people!

Actually... forget it... it won't work.

Sans, you lazybones, get up and do something.

Sans: I am doing something.

Papyrus: Oh yeah, what?

Sans: Thinking up a skele-ton of jokes.

Papyrus: SANSSSsSsSsSssSsSSsSsSsSSsSSsSsSsS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I will end you.

Sans: What, does someone not have a funny bone? Oh wait, do you have a bone to pick with me? I have 206.

I’m the type to join a cult unknowingly, but get too lazy to commit to it.

You will never be as lazy as whoever named the fireplace.

You're so ugly and fat, and you're so lazy you can't even get your ass up and walk.

What do you call a fat, lazy person who smokes weed? A baked potato.

What do you call a lazy kangaroo?

A pouch potato.

What do you call a skeleton that does nothing all day?

A lazy bones!

I am so disappointed in this race.

Brown skinned street shitters, goddamn, the lowest of the low southeast Asians, lazy monkey pig-dog duck fetus eating rice brainlets always on their phones, no IQ, ugly, uncivilized untermensch subhumans.

Lesson in laziness number 136894236842: don't be too lazy to read large numbers.

If possible, I refrain from brunching celebrities. My path is smooth. The table receives the branching.

When I arrived at my friend's house and, after a long time, I was given permission to pick from the branches and graze the dog, I agreed. Then the work begins. "No, no money," I replied, "that's why I'm a burden to the world that hurts me."

And when I told them, they told me and said they were there. If I had a job, I would be fired on the first day for bad behavior. The best solution is to avoid this situation.

What do you call a lazy potato chip? Lays!

Yo mama so lazy that she didn’t give birth to you until you were 15.

I found an alien in my backyard. I put him to work. He went to a farm, and I never saw him again. Moments later, he is on the Daily Planet acting as a reporter. A green rock smashed my house. I called him back, and he passed out.

I remarked, "You lazy!"

I'm not lazy, I'm just bone tired. I bet that one tickled your funny bone. It sure got me rattled. Don't try to stop me. I've got a skele-ton of these!